heck yeah I'm hungry...

So, here I am on day 22 of a fast and I really am feeling ok even though some think I am completely insane. Al I can say in my defense is...that's ok. This is something I do...I believe in...I understand...and really, it's ok. I found this piece I wrote two years ago, about this same time along, during a similar fast. I think it's worth reposting now as I pretty much feel the same and perhaps you will understand...why it's ok.

I am thinking about hunger again. I know that seems to be a frequently visited topic in my blog posts, but… It really is something we need to think about more. I am not only thinking about physical hunger but I am specifically thinking about the deep hunger for God. Jesus spoke quite often about the hungry and hunger. In Luke 4:1-2 it says, “ Then Jesus, being filled with the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan and was led by the Spirit into the wilderness, being tempted for forty days by the devil, And in those days He ate nothing, and afterwards, when they had ended, He was hungry.” And Satan being the ever clever liar was aware of that hunger and tried to get Jesus to turn a stone into bread. Imagine how hungry Jesus must have been after forty days? Some of us can barely last four hours. The devil knows that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach especially when really hungry. This was also apparent even in Old Testament days as Esau sold his birthright to his brother Jacob for some lentil stew. That was an expensive meal. However there is a tool that is available and often used to call our appetite into submission. It is a fast. Now I am not going into all the details and the whys and wherefores of fasting here. There are plenty of books written if you need to do a scholarly investigation on fasting. I will simply say it is a very powerful weapon when teamed with prayer to tap into the power of God to speak into your life. The enemy, Satan, wants you distracted and hungry for food and things of the world. When you fast and pray you focus sometimes very intensely on desiring what God wants and waiting to hear what that is. There is a long and extensive history of fasting in the bible and some amazing things have happened secondary to fasting and praying. Moses fasted and so did Jonah, Daniel, David and Elijah among others. Fasting takes you away from the world; it is a renewal of your spirit and a powerful form of worship. Fasting gives me an opportunity to change my diet. It is amazing when I am not attentive to what I eat that I gain weight and am still hungry. I am overfed as many of us are but lacking something in my diet. Fasting helps me to focus on Jesus, the one who can satisfy real hunger. The temporary hunger I feel is just that…temporary. It has to constantly be satisfied in a variety of ways. We struggle to appease this never filled feeling that affects everything in our lives, our jobs, our relationships and our sense of self worth. We become enmeshed in a tangled mess of lies and deception and live lives in the desperation of having to consume stuff to mollify our hunger. I have decided to tackle this issue and look at my own personal hunger. For all of us it is different. For many of us it is uncomfortable. It is not easy to face something which we hate to admit controls us and drives our every decision. But there is a reward to be had in doing this. In the bible in 2 Chronicles 7:14, it says, “ if My people who are called by My name will humble themselves, and pray and seek My face, and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, and forgive their sin and heal their land.” Can you deny that we all need to repent and receive forgiveness? Can you deny the blatant truth that this land needs healing now more than ever before? Our hunger for the wrong things in this world has almost pushed us over the edge and for many it already has. It’s time. It really is time to stop the madness that pushes us to run in circles and never find peace. There is only one way. I think that it is clear what that way is. So, the question then becomes which you will choose. Are you hungry?? What will feed you this year? Or maybe we should ask…who will we feed??

Human trafficking...the Apocalypse...now

Every two minutes, while I am sitting here writing these words, a child is sold into sex slavery. Does that shock you ? Maybe not...But, here's the reality of this tragedy...it isn't stopping and by some estimates is worsening. If you just read the many reports and see the staggering numbers being tossed out it can be so overwhelming as to cause paralysis. One may think...there are so many...everywhere...what can I possibly do. I am reminded of the quote by Robert Kennedy:
“Few are willing to brave the disapproval of their fellows, the censure of the colleagues, the wrath of their society. Moral courage is a rarer commodity than bravery in battle or great intelligence. Yet it is the one essential, vital quality for those who seek to change a world that yields most painfully to change. Each time a person stands up for an idea, or acts to improve the lot of others, or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope, and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring, those ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls of oppression and resistance.”
The US State Department has estimated that between fifty to one hundred thousand women and children are being trafficked for the specific purpose of sex slavery. In addition there are more than twenty five thousand brought into the country from many other international locations for the same purpose. Granted the numbers are always in flux but each organization defends their number. For example, in 2001, the FBI estimated 700,000 women and children were trafficked worldwide, UNICEF estimated 1.75 million, and the International Organization on Migration (IOM) merely 400,000. In 2001, the UN drastically changed its own estimate of trafficked people in 2000 -- from 4,000,000 to 1,000,000. As many as 7,000 Nepali girls as young as 9 are sold annually into India's red-light districts, 200,000 in the last decade. Afghani women are sold into prostitution in Pakistan for around 600 rupees - less than $4 a pound, depending on their weight. About 50,000 Asian, Latin American and Eastern European women and children are trafficked into the United States for sexual exploitation, the going rate between $12,000 and $18,000 each.
No matter how debatable...these numbers...no matter how many...have faces. The sad fact is that we look at these numbers and still are not moved into compassionate action to support the rescue of these victims. Where is our righteous indignation? That same kind of anger and action shown when Jesus cleaned house... in His house, so to speak. Our anger wells up in us for a minute or maybe more when we read these endless stories of children being trafficked for sex and then we are on to the next thing. Where is that passion and anger at (barely) speakable sins and incredible injustice that makes us want to turn over some tables of our own? Just sitting here thinking about a twelve year old girl having to have sex with ten to twelve grown men a day makes my blood pressure go up and sickens my stomach. But it certainly will take more than that to move many of us into action. As with most social justice issues like poverty, homelessness, hunger, addictions and lack of access to education and medical care, it will not seem real until it's personal and up close. Unless these issues directly affect you or someone in your family...you have no clue. You are only guessing what it must be like at fourteen or fifteen years old to be beat daily by a pimp you call “daddy”. Or selling your daughter for a paltry sum to support an addiction...I mean really, just how bad does it have to get? I am sure there some who are on the front lines of this fight that could tell many stories...well...maybe not...maybe they can't get the words out anymore...Our tolerance for what we will accept for these children is way beyond what it should be. The things we condone by our apathy become, in effect, the things we agree to. What is right and moral and worth turning tables over for becomes hazier and less important the farther away we get from it. Even though there is a lot of talk and advocacy going on with this issue the action part seems to be very lacking. Last year, I discovered the term is called “slactivism.” As per WIKIPEDIA...”The word is usually considered a pejorative term that describes "feel-good" measures, in support of an issue or social cause, that have little or no practical effect other than to make the person doing it feel satisfaction. The acts tend to require minimal personal effort from the slacktivist.” I can assure that there will be some benefit but things as evil as child sex trafficking will not diminish by wearing a ribbon, a bumper sticker, or a rubber arm bracelet. No...there's gonna have to be more...there simply has to be courageous, determined and sustained action. But to do the action part we have to move in close and get our hands dirty and that's where we fall short.. What an entirely different kind of  ministry Jesus would have had if He was fearful of going into the dark and risky places and picking and choosing who would be the recipient of His grace that day. Can you just imagine for a minute how different peoples lives might have been. Can you imagine a wretched world without the glimmer of hope Jesus brings?We are called by Jesus to fully wade in and He empowers us with divine passion and the power of the Holy Spirit to go beyond what we might have thought possible to correct injustice. It's going to take a risky radical faith... a belief in the omnipotent God who is calling us to come out of the safe place where we live into the life where the previously thought impossible thing becomes normal. Without risk there is no faith...without faith there is no hope...without hope there is only death....faith is a verb.

waiting & warming the bench...redux

It always seems like there seasons in our lives when we are waiting...waiting to hear from God...waiting for the next adventure...waiting to write the next chapter of our story. Waiting is really hard for me. I feel fidgety and tense and have to resist this real desire to help God along on whatever He has planned next for my life. I thought I would repost a blog from a few years ago, written during a season of waiting. I'll just call this one a “Waiting and warming the bench...redux.”
So, I’m sitting on the bench …waiting…to be put into the game. I have trained hard for this moment and I feel especially confident that God will use me. I have “suited up”, I’ve studied the opponent, have learned the plays….C’mon God…put me in the game. Can’t you see I’m dying here? I can help “our side” win. Seriously, God, I’m ready…this is the big game…this is the one I’ve been waiting for. This pretty much sums up how I feel a lot of the time. I am waiting for the next big thing, that big opportunity to show God what I can do for Him. Sadly though, I am going through the agonizing process of learning this is not what God wants from me. As famed writer, Herni Nouwen says, “Waiting is not a very popular attitude. In fact, most people consider waiting a waste of time. Perhaps this is because the culture in which we live is basically saying, “Get going! Do something! Show you are able to make a difference! Don’t just sit there and wait!” For many people, waiting is an awful desert between where they are and where they want to go. And people do not like such a place. They want to get out of it by doing something. In our particular historical situation, waiting is even more difficult because we are so fearful. One of the most pervasive emotions in the atmosphere around us is fear. People are afraid—afraid of inner feelings, afraid of other people, and also afraid of the future. And fearful people have a hard time waiting”. I particularly do not like the waiting part and many times I do, in fact, feel like I am in that awful place between where I am and where I want to go. And for me my natural inclination is to help God along in “putting me into the game” by busying myself with trying to show God how ready I am. WRONG. Not what God wants at all. He made that clear in Luke 10:38-42, when it says, “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Ah, it’s the age old dilemma…doing versus just being. I so long for God to use me and place me in situations where I can serve Him in extraordinary ways. I have always wanted God to use me to reach out to touch the lives of other people, to be of service for Him and for others in unimaginable ways , to be a useful and valued part of the Body of Christ. I am so busy looking for the big things I realize I quite often miss the small things. I have agonized and wrung my hands needlessly wondering why God just won’t use me for this thing or that. The truth hit me full on and it was that there is a significant difference between God’s desires and mine. Whoops… So, let’s see…God’s desires…not mine, be still and don’t busy myself with things of little importance… Hmmm and finally wait on God and don’t be fearful. WOW. I think these are challenges for all of us as these are the pressures that bear so heavily upon us in our daily lives. A daily prayer for us all is Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God…”. In that stillness we are reminded of the ever present voice speaking as it always has and always will. There is no need to fear the wait because this is what God wants and He tells us “blessed is he that waiteth”. So, I wait and I am learning that that’s ok.

rearranging furniture...

My wife has this thing that she loves to do about this time of the year...rearrange the furniture in the living room. I am not sure what exactly triggers in her this ancient primal need but I think it is either the incredibly frigid weather outside or the ceremonial taking down of the Christmas tree. Whatever it is I have come to recognize the look she gets in her eye as she scans around the room and then looks out the window...pensive... as if looking at a complex math problem in her head. “You know, it's good to rearrange things things from time to time” she says, still gazing out of the window. That's my cue...to get up and start “picking up” as she calls it. Once things are picked up to her satisfaction, she smiles a smile that I also have come to recognize. satisfaction...the plan is complete and pictured in her mind. The physical rearrangement commences...the vacuum comes out...the cat runs...and in a matter of minutes her vision has been executed with surgical precision. There comes that smile again...satisfaction. It's a good thing to rearrange some things in our lives sometimes...and not just our living room furniture. One of the huge benefits is that it gives us a different view than we have had for a while. It is so easy for things to get comfortable and predictable. Sometimes they are so predictable and in place in my house that I feel, if immediately struck blind...I could navigate pretty well. That's called familiarity. However, it can be a very dangerous thing as we can be easily lulled to sleep in our safety and comfort. I really like to rearrange things as well but in ways more challenging than where will I sit to watch TV. I sometimes equate comfort with routine and doing what is easy and not too risky. It is easy to get into a so called rut and get stuck and believe that things can only be arranged one way...whether furniture, our day, or what is important. I have discovered a great way to discover what things mean...give them up for a while. I have found that intentionally going without something is self revealing about both myself and what that thing represents in my life. For example, for the last few years, we have given up TV and “unplugged” from social media and most internet usage for the month of January. I suppose you could call it a fast, of sorts. It is utterly amazing the transformation that occurs in us when this happens. We talk “to” and not “at” each other...we read a few very interesting books...we listen...really listen...to some thought provoking music... and most importantly we pray, focus and hear Gods voice speaking very loud. Yeah, I know what you are saying about now...Gods voice ? Yeah, that's what I said...Gods voice...plain and clear. Deep inside the depths of our souls...away from the distractions of our daily lives...God is always speaking. The other thing that is so noticeable during this time of quiet is that we consume so much less of everything. We directly attribute that to the incessant barrage of mind control marketing we are not subject to on TV. Again, we become numb and hypnotized by TV and are fair game for every clever marketing campaign tells us what is sexy and desirable. A thing becomes only desirable to the degree of desire it creates within us. However, it is a false and short-lived desire as we want even more the new and improved version of the next best thing. I do not want that type of desire to be programmed into my mind as it is endless and agonizing to “keep up”. I have a different kind of desire and that creates conflict and I have learned, from a good friend, that conflict is a vital part of the story we are writing with our lives. This pseudo-desire for material things burns up in a flash like putting a piece of well seasoned pine wood on a hot fire. It makes a big fire...gives some heat(satisfaction)...but doesn't last. I really want to live in genuine desire of God and the things that are of God. I want to be in constant communion with Him and when there is an abundance of extraneous noise or other distractions present it is difficult. Listening isn't always easy...especially for me. My mind tends to be VERY busy most of the time. However...I want to listen more and pay attention to that voice that speaks to me in a very profound way...or often times speaks through other people...I want to learn to listen to them also. I want to understand the process more of how and why He chooses to speak to me. I know that is done by spending time in prayer, studying the Bible and quietly contemplating what is being spoken in that moment. I know that the more time that is spent in intimacy with God and His words, the easier is will be to recognize His speaking. Why is that so hard ?...I don't know, really. I do know that I am working on it very much during this “quiet time” in January and I am listening...close...right now.

Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly...

What does Jesus say to those who possess abundance and wealth in the midst of indescribable poverty? He says a lot...but the bigger question for us to explore is do we hear and, most importantly, act on what He says? I think you would perhaps agree that we frequently fall very short of true sacrificial giving to the poor and those in need. Sadly, a lot of us give in a conscience assuaging and fairly token way, for the most part. It is interesting to note that according to Micah's prophecy the people of Israel and Judah were searching for what it is that God wants of them. Micah quotes them as saying: (Micah 6:6-7) With what shall I come before the LORD and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? (7) Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

We, unfortunately, think we know what Jesus requires of us and offer... a canned religious response, a “I go to church” response, a predictable “raise your hands” in worship response. The worshipers of Micah's day were quite prepared to give whatever they believed was required; they were willing to bring any and every sacrifice that the Lord requested; if the Lord demands it they, like Abraham, were even willing to sacrifice their own children. In today's language, we think all we have to do is go to church and that is sufficient. The reality is that there is a huge difference between “going” to church and “being” the church. Yes...absolutely, the Lord does want praise and worship from us. He does love our gifts and offerings given in the right context. BUT... He wants much more than a “just enough” response. Micah tells us God's requirements extend to all of the entirety of the week and not just to what happens in the church on Sundays. (Micah 6:8) He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
In the first place, God requires us to act justly. What does this mean and what does this look like for us? Today, January 11, is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. We can say one way to act justly means to accept responsibility for the well-being of those suffering oppression as result of being trafficked or enslaved in any manner under other forms of modern day slavery: widows, orphans, disabled, poor, elderly, homeless, and others. These weaker, fragile most vulnerable and disenfranchised members of society are to be found not just here where we live, but also in Asia, Mexico, the Ukraine, Haiti, Africa, Dominican Republic and throughout the entirety of the world. To act justly means to accept responsibility for the well-being of a hungry mother and her children in the Sudan, a child in bondage held for the express purpose of sex, an underpaid sugarcane worker in the Dominican Republic, a dispossessed farmer in Africa, a pensioned widow in inner-city Chicago, and a welfare mom or single mother anywhere in America. To act justly means to accept responsibility for the well-being of the one billion people who are chronically malnourished and who go to bed most nights with empty stomachs. As Gary Haugen, President of International Justice Mission, often says, “ The good news about injustice is...God is against it.” God's Old Testament people very much needed to hear from Micah the demand to act justly in their time just as much as we do today. They needed to hear this because their day-to-day life was marked by a shocking lack of care and concern for the poor, the widow, the orphan, and the alien. In fact, they oppressed the poor and often made life more difficult for them. I find it so utterly amazing the similarities between the days of Micah and our present time. We need not look hard or far to see that we have become selfish, self centered and self serving. Despite all the talk to the contrary we still are about words and not so much in the way of deeds. It's haunting to listen to Micah's words of condemnation: (Micah 2:2) They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them. They defraud a man of his home, a fellowman of his inheritance How could one not be reminded of the current foreclosure mess and abundant illegal land seizures going around the world, particularly in third world nations. In another place Micah accuses them of using dishonest scales, weights, and measures in order to get for themselves ill-gotten treasures at the expense of the poor (Micah 6:10,11; Micah 3:1-3).
We are being commanded to be more like Jesus here. Over and over again Scripture tells us about God's concern for the weak,helpless and poor. Deuteronomy 10:18, for instance: "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." Or the prophet Isaiah: (Isa 1:17) ... learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. (Is 10:1,2; Psalm 103:6; Amos 5:11,15). There are literally hundreds of passages of scripture that clearly demonstrate that the priority of serving the least is foremost on the mind of Jesus. The Gospels present to us a picture of Jesus... who has tremendous compassion on the frequently assembled crowds, who desires that the little children to come to Him, who is concerned about the plight and welfare of widows and orphans, who continuously heals the sick, who has mercy and bestows healing grace on lepers, who cares for prostitutes who have given up on themselves in their despair, who can promise forgiveness and salvation to every prisoner whether shackled mentally or physically. He was angry about any and every injustice and treated all people equally. Today when there is such overwhelming hunger and seemingly limitless poverty, today when we are to be counted among the world's most wealthy, we are to be like Jesus and mirror His acts of justice in every way possible. God also requires that we love mercy. Because to love mercy is to be filled with an intense longing to help others, to do kind and compassionate deeds for those who are in need. We have been given divine power from Jesus and that with our compassion is all we need to accomplish His work on the earth. Here too we are to imitate God. God, you see, is merciful and full of loving kindness. How can we who have so much abundance in an age of hunger show mercy and bestow grace? We can show compassionate treatment of those in distress and with even the most minor needs. We are the bearers of Christ's grace and we are to dispense it liberally upon others and in doing so we show mercy. There is a very powerful thing that happens when we come along side of someone in this way. This is the same type of compassion Jesus showed to all without respect to the nuances of the situation. In this grace comes love and this brings redemption and restoration. This is the thing that we all desire...to be redeemed and restored into a loving relationship with our Father. This is the primary task we are called to in all that we do. Finally, what does the Lord require of you but "to walk humbly with your God." This is the most important of the three requirements. In fact, unless you walk humbly with your God you cannot act justly or love mercy. It truly is an impossibility... What does it mean to walk humbly with God? It means to live with humility and gratitude. It is the quality of being respectful of others and seeing the “Jesus” in people in our interactions with them. Humility is totally the opposite of how most of us live. We are caught up in a world of arrogance, vanity, aggressiveness and boastfulness of what we have done on our own. Clearly, the challenge is to make Him the center of your life in everything you do and everywhere you go. It means to live a life of fellowship with God...constantly. It means to give your heart to Jesus...wholly and completely and to be thankful for what you have received. The Jesus who gave His life for you deserves nothing less. It means to be filled with the Holy Spirit and the power of Christ so that you are born again and are a new Creation in Christ. It means to spend time with God in prayer and Bible reading. Jesus has called us to a life of discipleship just as He called out His original disciples. I want to live this life and I try really hard to be mindful of the fact that nothing else really matters. It's just so easy to be distracted ...sometimes.