Intentions & Resolutions 2013

Resolution

                                                     1.The state or quality of being resolute; firm determination.

2.A resolving to do something.

                             3.A course of action determined or decided on.

It's that time of the year...again. That time that we sincerely promise...uh,resolve...to turn over a new leaf...to give up a bad habit...or two. I love this quote from Ben Harper,

“Life is short and if you're looking for extension, you had best do well. 'Cause there's good deeds and then there's good intentions. They are as far apart as Heaven and Hell.”

We live lives of good intention sometimes...but most of the time we don't. As you can see from the definition, a resolution is based on a firm determination...and that firm determination is usually based on our individual limited will power and what we can do on our own. Apparently it is the most difficult thing because every year the resolutions are essentially the same...we long for the same things and seek some personal or hopefully, physical transformation. Sadly, every single year, the majority of us fail. In fact, here is a list of the “Top 10 Failed New Years' Resolutions”:

1. Lose Weight and Get Fit
2. Quit Smoking
3. Learn Something New
4. Eat Healthier and Diet
5. Get Out of Debt and Save Money
6. Spend More Time with Family
7. Travel to New Places
8. Be Less Stressed
9. Volunteer
10. Drink Less

I am sure that you might see some of your 2013 resolutions and maybe even ones' from years past. I certainly do. I am also sure you realize that broken resolutions are not personal moral failures but simply broken promises...some made to yourself...some made to others...some even made to God. I would imagine that a broken promise made to God carries much more weight than one I would make to myself. I would guess, however,that God might be used to that from us. He is well aware of our glaring inabilities and our stubborn determination to always do it “our way”. I think it is abundantly clear...we can have all the good intentions possible but if we do not follow up the action plan with...well, action, then it's doomed to failure. These resolutions, in effect, mirror how many of us live out our daily comfortable faith journey. In James 2: 14-17, it says,

“What good is it, my brothers and sisters, if someone claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save them? Suppose a brother or a sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to them, “Go in peace; keep warm and well fed,” but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it? In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead.”

It seems obvious that faith was designed, from the beginning to be a two step process...just as with your soon to be abandoned New Years resolutions. We more often travel on a tear stained trail of broken promises and surrendered dreams because of our affinity for self sufficiency. We love to sit back and admire what we have done operating under our own power. We love to make elaborate plans and set goals and spend inordinate amounts of energy on that process. As the verse from James says there's an action piece required. That action piece requires stepping out in bold and resolute faith despite any logical reason not to. God empowers us in an unexpected and extraordinary way to succeed where we are likely to fail. This, of course, glorifies God...not us. We can be very determined to get fit, eat right, improve our health all we want, but if we don't take the first step... which leads to more steps, it really doesn't matter. I have heard it said many times...faith is a verb. It is. I also have hear it said New Years resolutions never change...they don't

Christmas 2012...

For my annual Christmas blog, I have decided to revisit, revise and repost a blog I wrote in 2008 on my previous blog, On the road to Redemption. It feels as fresh and timely as ever...some things never change, I guess. Having recently returned from Haiti, this is some of what I have been thinking about...

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night.... And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for, behold, I bring you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the city of David a Saviour, which is Christ the Lord."— (Luke 2: 8-10-11.)

As the song says, “It’s the most wonderful time of the year… ” . Or is it really? The Christmas season is a paradox and each year we don’t get any closer to the understanding of this than the year before. Or do we? I find myself, many times, being torn between the crass materialism and consumption mentality that plagues many of us during the holiday season. I find myself wanting something “different” this year. I think the situation that we all find ourselves in currently, with the economy reeling and on virtual life support from the government, demonstrates the necessity to just stop this pursuit of the “right present” at the right price. I am completely disgusted by the masses of people who have turned the day after Thanksgiving shopping experience into a chaotic life threatening full contact sporting event. Sadly, someone got killed several years ago while just doing their job. This really returns us to our most primal hunting, gathering and killing roots. I can just imagine a proud shopper boasting on Christmas morning, “You like it? I had to kill for it…” WOW. Too extreme?? Is that too harsh? What have we become this season? We talk out of two sides of our mouth. We say we know the “reason for the season”. So, if we really do then why don’t we act like it? Seriously, it is time to just say ENOUGH. As Shane Claiborne says, 

“Enough to the myth that happiness must be purchased. Enough to an economy that is awarding CEOs salaries 500 times that of their workers and still manages to seduce people in poverty and wealth alike to give more money to these predatorial  corporations. Enough to the American dream that now consumes over 40 percent of the world’s stuff with less than 6 percent of the world’s resources. Enough to a dream that would need four more planets if the world pursued it … a dream the world cannot afford. Enough to the advice of government leaders who fearfully order us to “just keep shopping” after tragedies like September 11 and November 28. ENOUGH. Maybe God has another dream”.

You know what, I believe He does. I believe there is a better way and it is called the Advent Conspiracy. A couple of years ago, people who had enough of this madness, from four churches, got together and did something totally radical. They changed their spending habits at Christmas, shunned the spending mania, and gave presence instead of presents—the way Christ modeled for us through his gift of himself. They took the money they saved—nearly half of a million dollars—and gave it to Living Water International so that desperate communities could have the gift of clean water. Families from those churches are still telling stories of how Christ returned to their Christmas. Communities were renewed. Lives were changed. It was a Christmas to remember. Last year, 1,000s churches banded together for Advent Conspiracy 2011. Millions of dollars were given to the neediest people in our neighborhoods and in communities across the globe. Simply, this Christmas the idea is to worship fully, spend less, give more and love all. You too can be a conspirator. I love these words from author Alex Gordon, 

“There is no Santa Claus, no, there is something better. Every Christmas Eve a Great Spirit comes to this world and flies around it and scatters energy over the earth, and wherever that energy falls, like fairy-dust, it changes despair to hope, tears to joy, want to abundance, and when it touches a hard heart, it seeks to melt it, and when it touches a hateful soul, it seeks to change it, just like the spirits tried to change Ebenezer Scrooge. If you listen carefully, just before mid-night on Christmas Eve, you may hear this Spirit, and you will be blessed. But this Spirit is tired, and the times of its coming are few now. Time is of the essence”.

 Of course, you and I know what that “Great Spirit “is. It is the Spirit of the Lord God that has come in this season to bring hope and tidings of great joy. It is this same spirit that in Isaiah 61:1 it says,

“ The Spirit of the Lord God is upon me; because the Lord hath anointed me to preach good tidings unto the meek; he hath sent me to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound;”

 So, let’s open some prisons instead of presents, let’s bring good tidings of the redemptive and restorative power of love to someone broken and lost and let’s give presence, NOT presents, unlike any Christmas ever before. And maybe, just maybe the real Christmas will come back. Merry Christmas, y’all.

"where are you Christmas ?"...

My own personal Christmas came a little early this year...I got to go to Haiti. Admittedly, for many of you that may not be something on your Christmas list this year...or any year, for that matter. For me, personally, this trip simply could not have come at a better time. It is so easy during this time of the year to be deceived and distracted by the crushing press mounted by retailers and our culture to redefine what is Christmas. It feels like the push to control our minds and wallets begins earlier and last longer every year. It’s 10 days before Christmas and it doesn't feel any different than the week before I left for Haiti. Or the weeks before that. But...in Haiti, it's really different. While December and winter is in full swing back in Kentucky, I’m profusely sweating every day as if it was the middle of summer. It is very difficult for me to believe Christmas is right around the corner when I am having to putting on sunscreen and bugspray to ward off hungry mosquitoes. Certainly, that's very different. However, that's not the difference I am talking about. Everything that prepares us for the Christmas season in the U.S. does not exist anywhere in the Haitian countryside, particularly where I am at. There seems to be little awareness that Christmas is rapidly approaching. No one is decorating their front door with beautiful wreaths, no Christmas lights on houses, no Christmas music in the air, no Christmas parties, no cookie exchange or gingerbread house making, no winter, no eggnog, no wreath making, no fancy present wrapping, no Nutcracker, Christmas Vacation or even worse...no Elf. But that’s okay. I find it refreshing and restorative because there are none of the above. It is very much a blessing to be away from the chaos and commercialization of this holy holiday. Instead of immersing and drowning ourselves in all the events of the season, we have this rare opportunity to focus solely on why and who we are celebrating. Being in Haiti allows that in a profound in your face way. It is the season of Advent. It is the time of expectant waiting. Haitians know this waiting well. While they may not call it Advent and celebrate it formally in their churches and homes, they live it. The season of Advent is completely about waiting and hope. It is not just hope for a better day or hope for the lessening of their everyday ever present pain and suffering, although that is certainly a significant part of it. It is more about hope that their existence has meaning and possibility beyond the present and limited experiences, a hope that the limits of their lives are not nearly as narrow as we experience them to be. It is not that we have possibility in ourselves, but that God is a God of new things and so all things are possible. My experience thus far, in Haiti, tells me that those who have suffered greatly and still cling to hope understand far more about God and about life than those who have not. This is where many Haitians that I have met leave me in the dust, so to speak. Maybe that is what hope is about: a way to live, not just to survive, but to live authentically amidst all the problems of life with this amazing resilient faith that continues to see possibility when there is no present evidence of it, just because God is God. That is also the wonder and the mystery and joy of Advent. So, that was my present this year and that's awfully hard to wrap up in a box...

“Evil visited this community today”...

We now interrupt this blog...to bring you this unexpected blog...

I had planned on another subject for this blog today...but things change. Sometimes things change in such a dramatic and unexpected way that we're are momentarily stunned...I call it being knocked out of our tree. No doubt, some obscure reference to where we roost. Sometimes things change in such a horrific and evil way it forever defines who we are. We lose any shred of innocence...any sense of safety...This incomprehensible evil visited a small town in Connecticut, shortly after 9:30 am, on a sunny winter morning leaving carnage and mayhem in its' wake. In an instant...in the blink of an eye...things changed...forever. Not one single mom or dad, when sending their child off to school that morning, imagined or could ever imagine the idea that gunshots would ring out as teachers cowered and struggled to maintain their composure as they protected their children. It's just the absolute worse case scenario for both parent and teacher. No training...no college course...no advanced degree prepares you for this day. Your basic raw instincts take over...your focus become acutely sharp...time stands still. We try to protect those we love...not because it is our job, but because it is in our DNA...it is really in every fiber of our being. It is placed there by God. This is the exact place that we struggle so desperately to understand. Thousands of “hows” and “whys” are resonating all across the world. There are no words that can come close...we strive to make some sense of a day turned so upside down it's surreal. Sometimes there are just no answers...nothing can be spoken that doesn't provoke even more questions. In the season of winter there are many references to darkness and the bleakness of the days. I am sure that it couldn't feel any darker and more bleak and hopeless than it feels for many in light of this heinous act. However, I also know that in the midst of all that darkness and despair... there is light. While it may be exceedingly difficult to see, it is there. In John 8:12, it says, 

“Jesus spoke to the people once more and said, "I am the light of the world. If you follow me, you won't have to walk in darkness, because you will have the light that leads to life." 

 And in 1 Peter 2:9, it says, 

“But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.”

I have suffered my share, if there is such a thing as a share, of losses and unexplained tragic events and I understand the difficulty to focus on these verses from the Bible. Admittedly, I have never lost a child and simply cannot even imagine the depth of grief I would feel. But, the one thing I do know is that light dispels the darkness and we are called to be that light in the world...especially to others who are in darkness for whatever reason. We are called to be the ones to reach out to those who are suffering...are hurting...are trying to make sense...to struggle to move forward...to heal...and most importantly...to forgive. Endless hours of analysis and investigation and blaming and finger pointing are not helpful and only serve to mire us in a victim mentality. Sometimes very bad things happen that breaks our collective hearts. As much as we struggle to know why, sometimes...many times...we just can't know. There is no understandable explanation no matter how bad we want it. The sovereignty of God is easily accepted when all that matters is our intellectual agreement and understanding. But most often it is very difficult for us to accept, even unfathomable, especially when that practical reality strikes close to home through a difficult, tragic event like so many we have witnessed in recent months. In practically all cases like this, we feel compelled to ask, "Where was God?" I know this question echoed both out loud and silently with many of us. This is probably the tandem question to why. I really like what Father Dwight Longenecker says on his blog, Standing on my Head, 

“Where was God in Sandy Hook? Just where he always is, in the midst of the mess. He’s there suffering with the victims, bearing the horror with us and weeping with those who mourn and raging with those who rage. Do you feel righteous rage at the insanity and senselessness of this evil? So does God. Now you understand what God’s wrath is like. Do you feel helpless sorrow, pity and nameless frustration in the face of such terror? So does God. Now you understand his frustration and anger at humanity’s inhumanity. Do you feel compassion and heartache, and don’t you want to do something for the people who are hurting–do just anything you can? So does God. Now you know how much he longs to come in to our lives and help us and do something for us to heal and reconcile and make things right. Don’t you feel rage and frustration and confusion and fear for the poor sick boy who pulled the trigger? Don’t you ask what made him do such a thing? What turned him into a murderous monster? God is in the middle of all the emotions–in the middle of the mess with us. “ 

Indeed, he is...I pray we find comfort and healing in that...

Haiti redux...

A week from today I will be back in Haiti. This will be my second trip to a place I never imagined I would go the first time. I am going to be visiting some future partners for our Haiti Water Project and check in on some water systems we previously installed. I can't lie...getting ready for this trip has been really stressful. It has been stressful because I got distracted and almost forgot why I am going. I tried to blame this nagging feeling of being comfortable and semi-detached on everything but what it was. I temporarily forgot that I am being given an opportunity to go to a place that needs what I can bring...and it's not necessarily clean water. It's hope...It's the hope we have in Christ... to provide for...to love...to redeem...and to restore us. I feel sad that it's so easy for me to lose sight of that sometimes. It's so easy to be distracted by things that are inconsequential and limited in scope in our lives. We have this interesting thing about going back to places that have done something to us...impacted us...wrecked us in some way. There is this primal pull...this urge that speaks to our soul. I have this theory that we are looking for something we lost...something left behind and in returning we hope to find. Whether joy...peace...innocence...hope or even faith, there is something we seek. My wife says, for her, that place is the ocean...any ocean. Something speaks to her very deeply there and something happens. Of course, we know that “something” is God. There is a transformation and renewal of spirit. For me my place is an unlikely place...a place of profound stereotypes of poverty and where injustices are carved deeply into their national identity and psyches...that place is Haiti. Mother Teresa once said, “When I look into the eyes of the poor I have an eerie feeling that Jesus is staring right back at me.” Jesus himself stated that when we are with the poor we are with him. That certainly is true in Haiti. I both feel and see that played out everywhere I look while there. Honestly, it rattles my cage. It rattles that cage that many of us live in...have put ourselves in. That cage is not only a metaphor for our comfortable minimal risk lives but for our churches. The purpose of a cage is to protect what is outside of it as much as what is inside. We become comfortable and secure knowing there is minimal risk and danger both in our lives and churches. Oswald Chambers wrote,

“Let the attitude of your life be a continual willingness to "go out" in dependence upon God, and your life will have a sacred and inexpressible charm about it that is very satisfying to Jesus. You must learn to "go out" through your convictions, creeds, or experiences until you come to the point in your faith where there is nothing between yourself and God.”

Clearly, we know God is calling us to “go out”...but we resist. It's just so easy to just slip back into living a vanilla, homogenized, and gluten free life. I feel pretty safe in saying that really isn't what Jesus is calling us to. To really follow Jesus is to live dangerously because it involves really loving people, and often times those that are not like us...sometimes very different. If we truly care and want to be agents of transformation, we must be willing to boldly take the risk of loving others despite the possibility that it will be difficult, frustrating and tiring. I need to be reminded of that sometimes...I need to be reawakened. How does Jesus do that ? He shakes us. How does He shake us ? He calls to come out of the cage...our self-imposed prisons and go to risky places and love and serve those in need. In Matthew 25: 35-40, Jesus said,

 'For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.’

“Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?’
“The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’

To just stand and be present among both the physical brokenness and the brokenness of others lives in Haiti is a reminder of what truly matters. I don't really know about anyone else, but that reminder couldn't have come at a better time for me.

thanks...for the thanks

In normal life we hardly realize how much more we receive than we give, and life cannot be rich without such gratitude. It is so easy to overestimate the importance of our own achievements compared with what we owe to the help of others. ― Dietrich Bonhoeffer

It's that time of the year when we seem to place special emphasis on giving thanks and enumerating the various things we are thankful for. It's somewhat of a lost art, really. To be really thankful and be satisfied with what we have and live a life of gratitude is a lofty goal. Our culture makes it difficult if not nearly impossible. It becomes a chore for many of us because we have become so self absorbed and cannot waste the extra minutes in our day to let someone know that their ordinary kindness is appreciated and recognized. Thanksgiving, the holiday, has become another commercially crass and mostly meaningless day dedicated to gluttony. The overall feeling is that it's just a day that stands in the way of “black Friday” and ultimately Christmas. However, I really have a quite different take on the whole idea of being thankful and showing gratitude. I am really thinking that Jesus was working very hard to show us how gratitude is this amazing tool that prepares us to receive God's goodness...or blessing. It lays the foundation for our hearts and minds to receive this promised abundance that is already ours. When we give thanks in advance this, in effect, readies us to be able to receive what we desire, a desire that is already fulfilled in the invisible realm. In Psalm 37:4 it says,

 “Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.” 

It enables within us a faith sufficient enough to make the seemingly impossible things possible. To live in the presence of that fact is to live a life filled with gratitude for even the simplest and seemingly inconsequential things. Dr. Michael E. McCullough, from the University of Miami, says. “It is part of a psychological system that causes people to raise their estimates of how much value they hold in the eyes of another person. Gratitude is what happens when someone does something that causes you to realize that you matter more to that person than you thought you did.” Don't kid yourself...we really want to matter...we want to be significant. Of course, certainly we all know and have been taught that gratitude is very important. It is the universal, across the world, custom of civilized and mannered people to say a simple and basic “thank you” after receiving something. Most of us are grateful when we are blessed in some manner, but that gratitude continues to be a response to getting something. It is still the effect...the afterthought. We wait until we think there is something to be grateful for before expressing our gratitude. In that waiting we are missing some tremendous opportunities to build our faith and that of others by living in a state of gratitude year round. We really need to abandon the mindset of waiting to receive and then give thanks. The surprising paradox is we are constantly receiving and for that I am most thankful...  

throwing stones...

So, I'm no different than many others of us that have watched, yet another, celebrated public figure blow their life up right in front of our eyes. A highly decorated real life action hero...a previously impeccable warrior... has proven once again that we are all fatally flawed. It really got me thinking about fatal flaws both in the context of flawed things...objects... and in our flawed story we are writing with our lives as well. In presumably a brief moment of blindness and indiscretion the beloved and esteemed soldier and adviser to the president went from heralded military hero to fallen tragic hero. In pure literary terms a classic tragedy is getting ready to be written and played out in full detail on the evening news. In the ancient times of Greek tragedies this “fatal flaw” was called a Hamartia, which very simply defined is a heroes' critical error in judgment that results in his fall from an often times lofty perch. While there is much difference of opinion in the actual meaning of the word I think it is safe to say it is a moral failure...it is sin. We all have these failures but when you are a celebrity and live your life in the mainstream of public awareness it become easy for us to point fingers and endlessly analyze. It really seems like there is an abundance of stones being cast here lately. It is easy for us to join in the fray and heave a stone or two as that is our nature. However, Jesus made it pretty clear what our response should be in John 8:7, when He said, 

  “They kept demanding an answer, so he stood up again and said, "All right, but let the one who has never sinned throw the first stone!" 

So, ok, then...who's throwing stones...now ? You see,this fatal flaw that brings us all down is also known as missing the mark and that simply defined is sin. It is a moral failure of such a magnitude it cannot help but capture our attention. Our culture has created the term “epic fail” to describe these events in peoples lives that we are so hungry to weigh in on even when we have very few, if any, accurate facts. Many of us us have witnessed so many of these epic failings in recent years we barely pause to think about what has been lost or wrecked or to even pray for those affected. We're too busy at the rockpile picking out the stone that will hurt the most. Why? What is our investment here? I think it is an instinctive reaction based on fear. Fear that it could be us...or that it is us. Even those who live seemingly charmed lives are not immune from being a victim of their own undoing. It really can all change in a second with one bad choice. I think of someone like Lance Armstrong, who many “worshiped” as a hero and how awful they must feel now. The more you feel bullet proof and removed from the failings of others the more shocked and devastated you will feel when it happens to you...and it will. The reason it will is that we are all broken and flawed...tragically...fatally...hopelessly. This flaw has but one purpose and that is to destroy you and everything around you. It is geared to take away every single thing that you own and that is important to you. Again, I refer you to Lance Armstrong...I have lost track of what he has lost. Everything he worked for and everything he believed in and us with him is gone. Clearly, it was the wrong thing as he was being deceived by his fatal flaw and in that process deceived us. Maybe that's what scares us just a little bit...how easily we can be deceived by our own subtle sins. These public examples are a huge lesson for us of what happens when we abandon our moral compass and think we know the way and can journey through life without God. Choosing to live life on our own terms without God or holding God at arms length initiates a series of events over time that culminates in ruin and personal disaster. We will never know the personal thoughts and the decision process that actually went on in someones mind prior to making a decision resulting in monumental consequences. However, I do know this...we have all done it. Whether your sin...your fatal flaw...has made it to the news is immaterial. Put away your smugness...your finger pointing...your gloating...your endless fascination with how others are wrecking their lives...I think it's time for us to drop our stones.

sigh...no more

Like many around me, I am truly breathing a sigh of relief that the bitterly contested presidency has finally been decided. In one of the most both vitriolic and garrulous election seasons, we all really need just to stop and take a huge deep breath and just...sigh. Yes, sigh. I think that is the perfect word for right now. According to The Merriam-Webster dictionary, the definition of sigh is,”to take a deep audible breath (as in weariness or relief),to make a sound like sighing  sighing in the branches>, grieve,yearn,”. So, I would be willing to say, that both weariness and relief is surely a feeling many of us are sharing right now. This feeling is being described and reported on the news as being “battle worn” and having “gone through the wringer”. It has been so obvious and apparent to note our many glaring divisions...our differences...the things that separate us. There is a harsh realization that our lines are drawn deep...very deep. Often times, in the heat of these battles, our beliefs and the things that give structure to our lives comes under attack. These attacks can be very personal...personal to the degree that we are reluctantly drawn into the fray. Everyone becomes a pundit and feels compelled to defend their own positions irrespective of opposing and sometimes better ideas. Nowhere was that more obvious than on social media. As election day drew closer the rhetoric increased exponentially and became a roar that assaulted us endlessly on Twitter and Facebook. We were pummeled with misinformation, deception and often outright lies in a feeble attempt to sway or shake us loose from fundamental truths previously established by Jesus. Those who consider themselves to be followers of Christ are easy targets as most everything we believe is absolutely contrary to the current political process and culture at large. Times are really no different now, in that regard, than in the time of Jesus. There is a massive effort to change culture...a battle for your soul...that becomes more obvious with every election. That change process involves manipulation, domination and control and the various media play a huge role in that. Os Hillman, in his book, Change Agent: Engaging your passion to be the one who makes a difference says,

“Most efforts to change culture (even within conservative Christianity) lead to manipulation, domination, and control. When God told the Israelites in Deuteronomy 8 that they would be the head and not the tail, this would be the fruit of their obedience by fulfilling the first and greatest command to love and obey God. It was not a goal to try and achieve dominion in culture. Rather, it was the fruit of their obedience that would influence culture.”

It is abundantly clear that as a follower of Christ there comes a time that you are required to stand as Gods representative...an ambassador...a witness to timeless and life affirming truths. I'm not sure, really...but... I think that time may be now. Jesus has made it as simple for us. In Micah 6:8, it says, “ He has showed you, O man, what is good; and what does the LORD require of you, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with your God?”. That is the thing that will heal our nation and draw us together...and we really need that right now...*sigh*

Reconnecting with compassion...

 

  As a follow up to my previous post, I decided to do something that I have never done on my blog...post a video. As you can see this is a talk given at a TED conference. As per Wikipedia..."TED talks strive to address a considerable range of topics within the research and practice of science and culture, often through storytelling. The speakers are given a maximum of 18 minutes to present their ideas in the most innovative and engaging ways they can." I found this talk very compelling and I particularly enjoyed a number of comments. One that especially  struck me was, "Compassion also brings us into the territory of mystery — encouraging us not just to see beauty, but perhaps also to look for the face of God in the moment of suffering, in the face of a stranger, in the face of the vibrant religious other.” I think one of the biggest challenges us, on a daily basis is to enter into that "territory of mystery" particularly while surrounded by the wreckage of what is left of your entire life after a catastrophic event. We focus on the loss...the material things...we focus on our suffering and many times develop a victim mentality. We become self absorbed and lose the ability to see the face of God manifest in the face of a stranger or even our suffering. Krista says, " Compassion can be synonymous with empathy..." It is difficult, if not impossible to have empathy if we are living a self centered and sense of entitlement life. We see very little beauty or marvel at the incredible way suffering is designed to bring us closer to God. She additionally points out that this necessary compassion can be expressed in the simple act of presence. This is what Jesus excelled at...entering into peoples suffering...being very present...and responding. This is a sheer impossibility if you are selfish and don't live with gratitude. There are many times that we often positively relish the trials and sufferings of others, particularly if we have made some judgement about their plight without even knowing them. We feel smug and insulated and smack our lips in delighted self congratulation that " thank God...that's not me..." This is not anything even close to compassionate. It's making a bad situation many times worse... it separates us...it divides...it draws a line. And any time you're drawing lines, you are making boundaries...us and them...lucky and unlucky...blessed and not blessed...rich and poor...black and white...have and have not. You also are drawing that line between Jesus and...yourself.

"moved with compassion"...

I am sure that like many of us, this past week, we have seen endless images of the devastation and carnage from the so called "storm of the century"...Sandy. As you might expect, especially if you know me to any small degree, I have many very different and conflicting thoughts and observations about what I am seeing and feeling. What we, away from the scene, are experiencing is well controlled by those documenting this tragedy whether it be the traditional media or the non-traditional reporters on Twitter, Instagram and Facebook. The traditional media is designed to tell...and sell... a story which is designed to elicit a specific emotional response in us. They are, in effect, telling a story with a certain perspective in mind and each is different. Nothing is neutral is any aspect of what they report. On the other hand, the social media reporting is, quite often, raw, spontaneous and minimally edited. We are getting a very different look at what is important and impactful...to that person. As I sit and passively watch, in the comfort of my home...the safety of my surroundings... what I am seeing feels surreal to a large degree. The sheer magnitude and scope of what has, in a matter of hours, been destroyed and lost forever is overpowering. The thing I wrestle with is  “ how should I respond ?” or even should I respond at all. There are many times in the four Gospel where we read the statement, "And Jesus was moved with compassion." That essentially means to enter into another’s suffering and to respond in an unsolicited act of mercy. In every single instance of compassion that Jesus experienced...specific action followed. He felt this compassion very deeply and immediately. He felt a great sense of urgency. He desired that something to be done...some action be taken, and so immediately, he responds. One of the things of significant note here is to realize how Jesus always responds without judging. These are people in dire and sometimes life threatening need. He doesn't hesitate or pause to judge them. Are they irresponsible? Is it their fault? No finger pointing or playing the “blame game” here. Why don't they do something for themselves? No, his heart immediately feels the pain, the suffering, the loss and the brokenness. He's feeling with them, suffering with them. That's called empathy...not sympathy...there is a big difference. Sympathy is knowing and lives in your head and empathy is sharing and comes from the heart. Empathy is a critical factor in developing community. The difference is what Jesus always did...He entered in and became present and then responded. It's personal and relational. It means to come along beside and walk in someones' shoes. More and more, we need to cultivate that spirit of compassion and empathy so that immediately, our heart goes out to those in need wherever they may be and in whatever situation is involved...and immediately we act. We need that same deep, heartfelt, gut wrenching spirit of compassion that forces us to move out of our comfort and safety of isolation. Then we have to do something about it. We are required to do something. I heard someone say recently we cannot pretend that once shown a problem that we cannot do something... one single thing...about it. Trust me, everyone can do something. If nothing else is workable for you, you can always pray. In James 5:16 it says, “The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much”. I can assure that's what many of us are doing right now.

"Why do you serve ?"

There is a certain sense of arrogance that comes with doing good for someone else. There are many assumptions made about others needs and desires that, often times, lead to poor outcomes. We presume to know what is best for someone else based entirely on our subjective impressions and our own personal desires and ambitions...for them. Quite frequently we operate from the standpoint of a benefactor relationship. We are naturally self centered and sadly pursue a self centered agenda without the common courtesy of even minimally consulting those we propose to serve. We, in fact, are serving ourselves and in the long run that will not be sustainable. We will get tired...bored...and move on to the next trendy cause. When we create a dependency on ourselves and what we can bring and give it removes the importance of being dependent on God and His divine provision. This steals Gods glory and sometimes removes Him completely. Brandon Hatmaker, author of Barefoot Church, recently stated in his blog,

“We need to stop serving the poor just because it makes us feel good. We need to stop serving the poor because we like bragging about it. We need to stop serving the poor because it’s the hip thing to do right now. We need to stop serving the poor because we’re hoping God will be pleased with us. All those reasons are about us. They steal God’s glory and they will be exposed for what they are.”

It is both unfortunate and sad that there are certain erroneous perceptions of me when I go on mission trips...by both the people I hope to serve and those left behind. Much of this misunderstanding comes from well intentioned but misguided missioners that have gone before me. Based on their actions and attitudes of others a multitude of negative stereotypes are created. Sadly, I am viewed as the giver and bringer of things and the person I hope to serve the receiver. This creates a passive relationship which is very similar to the one many of us have with God. God is indeed the giver and bringer of things...our provider... but that relationship also is not sustainable if we just wait on stuff to be brought and handed to us. God desires an active relationship with us based on our dependence on Him and our presence. It is difficult to be present in any relationship where we are focused on what WE bring and what WE can get. I have really started to examine what I can be as opposed to what I can bring or do. I am coming to an understanding that what I can be is a reflection of Christ...I can be a bearer of grace that is so freely given to me. And most importantly of all, I can be present at all times in the lives of those I strive to serve. Honestly, I really don't think Jesus would want it any other way.

today I went to Haiti...

As you may already know, I just got back from a trip to Haiti. I was one of a ten person team that went and installed two water purification systems and did health teaching. As I said in a previous blog posting, I didn’t think I was ready for what I would see and feel…I wasn’t…not even close to being prepared. I am sure that is what God wanted and how He would prefer it, actually. Only several days later am I even able to write or verbalize anything about this trip. One thing I can tell you is that Haiti is a beautiful place chock full of more paradoxes than I could count. It is absolutely true there is extreme poverty yet there is a vast richness that is both subtle and obvious. However to understand this paradox one must redefine richness and how we measure it. In the US, we define richness by the amount of things and material goods we own and the nebulous idea of status based on those things. We have a "biggest pile-king of the mountain" mentality. Jesus spoke to this a lot and was very clear about the problem of selfishness of the rich, even in that time. People desperately clung to things…things that gave them comfort, security, and status. They allowed their things and position define who they were...just as we do now. Jesus knew this and He also knew how it interfered with serving others because of being bound to those things. In Matthew 19:21, it says,

  “Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me." 

Jesus knew. Detach from your possessions…give to the poor…and follow…just in that order. The people of Haiti have such meager possessions…some have none. All they have is the day and an amazing faith in God that, for the most part, dwarfs mine. Minute by minute…hour by hour…day by day is how the majority of Haitians live. This is why the “prosperity gospel” is false and does not play in Haiti. There is a depth of richness in the people of Haiti that is often missed with the casual interaction. They are hungry for sustained relationships...they fear abandonment. So many asked me, "when are you coming back?". This broke my heart more every time i heard it. As I told several pastors I met there, “the Haiti I have experienced this week is not the Haiti we see on TV in the US…” Indeed, people are hungry in Haiti but they are not hungry for false promises from politicians or misinformed "so called Christian" opportunist looking to take advantage of their misfortune. Many see Haiti as a project or a social science experiment and watch and wait for only the strong to survive. I read once a comment that someone made that said “put a fence around Haiti…and let Darwinism take its toll…” Obviously an uninformed comment that is neither constructive nor representative of many people. I never planned to go to Haiti but there are many places I have gone and things I have done that I did not plan. I cannot begin to unravel all that has happened in the last number of years that resulted in me being here this week. Suffice it to say, Gods’ plan and vision for my life far supersedes mine and He is continuing to write this incredible story. Away from the distractions and clutter of our lives here in the US it is easy to see and redefine what is richness and poverty. In a place of scarcity and struggle where hope strives to take root in rocky soil, God is at work. In fact, He is really… really busy. 

wreckage is coming...

I spontaneously burst into tears a couple of times today. For many of you that know me, that probably doesn’t surprise you…at all. I took that as a sign that I am not ready to go to Haiti. I am preparing, but I am not prepared for what I know is coming. I have had a false sense of feeling that I am going to be ok with this because of numerous trips I have gone on to the Dominican Republic. I feel like it is all about to crumble in on me. In fact, I know it is. I know that I am going to be challenged in a way unlike anything ever before. As much as I think I have been changed and wrecked and trivial things I given up, I still take a lot for granted. While I know that I am blessed beyond measure and try to be aware, grateful and understand every good gift that a father gives a son…I know that an even bigger wrecking is days away. Yeah, I am scared about that. I am reminded of the lyrics of my favorite Sara Groves song, I Saw What I Saw

I saw what I saw and I can't forget it
I heard what I heard and I can't go back
I know what I know and I can't deny it
Something on the road, cut me to the soul
Your pain has changed me
your dream inspires
your face a memory
your hope a fire
your courage asks me what I'm afraid of
(what I am made of)
and what I know of love
we've done what we've done and we can't erase it
we are what we are and it's more than enough
we have what we have but it's no substitution
Something on the road, touched my very soul
I say what I say with no hesitation
I have what I have and I'm giving it up
I do what I do with deep conviction
Something on the road, changed my world

I have called this thing that happen to us “getting wrecked for the ordinary”. It’s that feeling that sometimes happens when we travel so far out of ourselves and out of our comfort zones that we are forever changed at the core of our being. We enter the world of another and feel the weight of oppression and injustice that is an everyday part of the fabric of their lives. We try to love and serve well and filled with compassion we are changed...deeply and our soul is stirred and awakens. We come back home and everything is different. Things that once sustained our pursuit of the American dream become much less important and perhaps even meaningless. We have had our hearts broken by the very same things that breaks the heart of God. God has taken us and shown us something sacred...something breathtaking.  In that, we are challenged to respond and act in a very specific manner to that which we have been privileged to be a part of. As one of my friends has so succinctly stated…”your knowledge, requires action”.  I heard that several years ago and it is ringing so loud in my head sometimes I think surely others must hear it too. It is a clarion call for us all to answer in some manner or capacity. I think Sara Groves said it best when she sings, “Your pain has changed me, your dream inspires, your face a memory, your hope a fire, your courage asks me what I'm afraid of…”

Indeed…what are we afraid of?

coming full circle...

"And if you give yourself to the hungry, and satisfy the desire of the afflicted, then your light will rise in darkness, and your gloom will become like midday. And the LORD will continually guide you, and satisfy your desire in scorched places, and give strength to your bones; and you will be like a watered garden, and like a spring of water whose waters do not fail."  Is. 58:10 

I recently read a sobering statistic regarding the expected life span for a man in Haiti…at birth, a man, in Haiti, is expected to live to the age of 60. That hit me kind of hard for two reasons. First, I will be going there soon and witnessing why this is first hand... and secondly…I will be 60 next year. I cannot even imagine that at the age of 60 I will have outlived most men in Haiti and be at the end of my days. But wait… there’s more…Haiti is the poorest country in the Western Hemisphere. Infrastructure was virtually nonexistent before the earthquake — no electricity, sanitation system, trash pickup, public school system or source of safe water. The literacy rate is about 50 percent and the average Haitian earns about $1 a day. Vital indicators on child health are infant mortality, under-age-5 mortality and maternal mortality; in Haiti all these are quite grim. While the infant mortality rate was halved from 105 per 1,000 in 1990 to 57 per thousand in 2007, it still is high when compared with the CDC’s latest number from 2006, which shows 6.7 deaths per 1,000 in the United States. Consider that 21 per 1,000 Haitian children younger than 5 will die annually, compared with 8 per 1,000 in the U.S. Maternal mortality is 523 deaths per 100,000 births in Haiti, compared with 13 per 100,000 in U.S. Sadly many of these deaths are entirely preventable. Diseases spread by unsafe water cause 3 million deaths a year, disproportionately affecting young children. Diarrhea, primarily a disease of dirty water, is the biggest killer of children under five in poor countries, resulting in nearly 4,000 preventable deaths each day – nearly 3 deaths every minute of every day. Almost 50 kids just died while I sit writing these words…Water projects are one of the most effective ways of saving lives and one of the most cost-effective investments in disease prevention. Potable water projects typically reduce diarrheal disease by upwards of 50 percent, with even higher reductions during water-borne epidemics, such as cholera which is adding insult to injury in Haiti. The WHO estimates that every $1 invested in water and sanitation yields between $3 and $34 in reduced medical costs and increased productivity, depending on the region. So, this is what I will be doing…I will be part of a team installing 2 water systems and doing health and hygiene teaching in northern Haiti. I never imagined that my life would be taking this turn but it all seems to be making such sense and coming full circle. It started with an unplanned, unprepared and unforeseen bicycle ride in 2008 across the US to raise funds for Blood Water Mission. Blood Water Mission is an organization in Nashville Tennessee which is working very hard to address this issue of clean water in six areas of Africa with an assortment of projects and initiatives. I was part of a team of cyclist who believed that something as simple as a bike combined with our passion to love and serve others well could impact this need. Thus the name of the tour became the RideWell tour focusing on riding well, serving well, loving well, and of course, digging well(s). So, here I am four years later…the story continues, and I will be in Haiti in less than two weeks. I never imagined it, never planned on it, never dreamed about it…but God did. You see, God has this incredible vision for us and we each have a place to enter into this amazing story of redemption and restoration. I realized that this is exactly what is happening in Haiti and now my story continues within the context of a larger one and that is EXACTLY what He wants us to see. I can tell you this revelation has me very excited to see what He has to show me. Stay tuned…I have a sneaky feeling this is going to be a wild ride…maybe even literally.

diving back in...

Sometimes it is a good idea to let things rest…sometimes it is good to stop the thing that you are doing and stand back and breathe and reevaluate your purposes and goals in that thing you are doing. It is good to let your fields go fallow. I love these lines from a poem, The Fallow Season, by Keith Harrison,

And while the white rain beats across the hills
It’s desolate enough. But you, who by
Some shrewd perversity or courage, toughen
On disappointment, will come through this
To make again. This is the quiet time.
Put down your brushes and your words,
Breathe with the earth, draw strength from solitude.

I have been in a prolonged fallow season and despite my discomfort with not doing something and filling my days with meaningless activity, I know that these times are necessary and good. It is easy to get caught up in the endless pursuit of meaning and purpose for our lives and simply doing nothing or even not much that is laudable is counter intuitive to what we have been led to believe. With all that being said, I am, in effect, going to reenter and reconnect what I am thinking and feeling and write these things down instead of allowing them to float through my head like wispy clouds on a summer day. I recently realized that I was writing a lot on my blog, So I’m Color Blind, during this time last year and it was “therapeutic” for me, if nothing else. So, I am resurrecting the blog and I will hope to be a little more diligent and regular in sharing my thoughts and observations. Additionally, this serves another purpose as I will soon be leaving for Haiti on a 10 day mission trip to help install two water purification systems. I hope to provide a comprehensive picture of this trip in both pictures and words. I will have much more to say about this trip and how this opportunity presented itself which is an amazing story all by itself. I am very much looking forward to being stretched, challenged, moved and used by God to continue to tell His amazing story of redemption, restoration and making His name famous wherever I go. I think I know why my fields have been laying fallow…it’s planting time.