"we were happy in Alabama..."

As I sit here and look at images of the utter devastation from the deadly tornadoes in Alabama I am reminded of riding my bicycle in that very area last summer on The 5 Weeks for Freedom bike tour. Birmingham was a destination we all eagerly anticipated at the end of our first week of riding up through Alabama from Mobile. We rode through some of the smallest towns and met and were received by some of the nicest and most genuine people many of us had ever met. Many of our team had never had the enjoyable experience of being on the receiving end of southern hospitality. We were welcomed into peoples churches, homes and hearts. It was a perceptible feeling that is infused into the people of these small towns and easily shared with us as we rode north. Jackson...Linden...Moundville...Vestavia Hills...Pleasant Grove...Birmingham...and all the other small towns between. We became part of your stories and you became part of ours. I remember well...every road...every smell...the light rain coming into Jackson. I remember trying to introduce my teammates to boiled peanuts at one of our many rest stops at gas stations. I remember the prayers prayed over us both for our safety and for the cause of human trafficking which we were riding for. I remember the beautiful soft southern accents as people engaged us in conversation and time after time asked us “you ridin' to where?...New York...sure nuff?”. I remember the incredible hospitality of the people of Moundville and how they came together across denominational lines to hear our message and give generously to our cause. It was a powerful witness to many of our team to see so many people they have never met receive them so lovingly and complete. But..that's the south...and the people of Alabama that I am well familiar with. I have had a long history with Alabama and I lived there as a child while my father was in the Army. Many years later I lived in Montgomery when I worked there as a nurse and in fact, my son was born there. I quite jokingly told my wife I wanted to name him Jefferson Davis. Seriously...just kidding. The thing that the bike team really got to enjoy and was very important to continued riding was...southern cooking. Every church in every town went above and beyond in feeding the team. When you ride bikes all day under the hot Alabama sun you can put away some food at the end of the day. I am pretty sure that some of the team from the north got totally addicted to southern sweet tea. People in the south LOVE to cook and they love to feed people and I can assure you we were fed. I often joked that we were going to have the only bike ride to ever gain weight. I must say that the First Baptist Church at Pleasant Grove was totally over the top on food. As it was the fourth of July weekend they had an old fashioned picnic with so much food it was unbelievable. The icing on the cake there was that several men from the church stayed up all night cooking pork on an outdoor smoker for the food of heaven...pulled pork barbeque. Where we were staying at the church we had to smell that pork cooking all night long. It was amazing. Even with all these memories flooding over me making me smile...I am so sad for my friends and those I don't even know who has suffered loss from this extreme weather. I look at the pictures on the news and it just looks surreal and I am sure that the people there feel the same way. The one thing I do know is that these people are resilient and will recover. It's in their blood...their DNA. They are survivors and have come from a long line of survivors. Many of their grand and great grandparents lived through the civil war. Many of these people had relatives that suffered under the cruel system of slavery...escaping against tremendous odds on the Underground Railroad. This is the exact reason we were riding our bikes on a route approximating that same escape route to the north and freedom. So, seeing this devastation in places we rode through and where people reached out to us in a powerful way...hurts. I don't know why...I can only pray. That's all I can do...just pray. There are no answers so why bother trying to figure it out. As I said in my previous blog, this is the sole realm of a all knowing God. I would never even pretend to speak to this one. It is overwhelming and horrific and tragic and our normal thing is to ask...this is what we do...we ask. I ask too...but not why. I just ask that God will give peace and help those affected to stand firm in their faith and not be moved. Anything else is none of my business...right?

to know the impossible...

I have pretty much decided that there just are some things that no matter how hard you try you will never know. We are constantly surrounded with mystery and secrets only known to God...and He's not telling. He's not even giving us a clue and that is maddening to many of us. We have this sometimes overwhelming desire...compulsion...to know everything about everything. Back in the day it was a lot harder to know stuff and have instantaneous answers to even the most inane question. Thankfully for most of us we now have Google and a world of answers is at our fingertips. However these aren't really the deep and troubling questions that most of us frequently ponder and wrestle with. We seek answers to even more complex mysteries of faith and peoples erratic behaviors. There have been innumerable volumes written down through the ages from the most dense intellectual treatises to infomercial style self help books to provide answers for challenging questions. The desire to know is the desire to control...and the desire to control is a faith issue. Sometimes I just have to let go and trust that God really does know the answer and has a much more enlarged view of the thing I am struggling to know. I must admit I do have this fantasy of meeting Jesus face to face and asking a few questions that have been bugging me for a long time. “So, Jesus...uh...I have just been wondering about...” Yeah right...There are surely things that God, in His infinite wisdom, just doesn't want us to know. Do you feel sometimes that you just have this one personal or generic question you want answered? I do. I have a big one...pretty personal. I have often wondered what could my dad have possibly been thinking as he sat alone...in darkness...in isolation...and pulled the trigger and ended his life. What overpowering internal chatter must have been going on that night in his head. Maybe it was that chatter speaking loudly to him...to give up. Clearly it spoke louder than any other voice competing for attention. The harsh reality of suicide is that it is one senseless act that many of us have been affected by and we just cannot understand. Well, you cannot understand it until you find yourself in a similar position staring helplessly into the deep abyss of depression and loss. It is a lie from deep in the pit of hell that ending ones life is ever a good or logical solution to anything. It is totally illogical because the thought processes of your brain have been so rearranged that killing yourself feels ok and seems like a good idea at the time. With something so utterly personal there always is so many more questions that in all likelihood will never be answered...but still we ask. “Why would a dad want to leave a son?”...That's a big one...Maybe there is no reason at all...maybe that isn't even a factor ever considered. But the fact is you are abandoned and that affects everything you do...every relationship...for all your life. It just feels like so many times that a lot of things would have been different if I just could have one simple answer. It always reminds me that God knows and I don't...or ever will. How would our lives change if we knew the answers to these difficult and tough questions? I honestly don't think God ever meant for us to know or will allow us to. That's why we got kicked out of the garden in the first place. God knew that if we became as smart and all knowing as Him then we would have no need for Him. If the creation was on par with the creator then we lose our sense of awe and understanding we exist for the divine purposes of the creator. To rise above that and relegate God to an inferior position is what many of us have done by abandoning faith and endlessly seeking answers to unanswerable questions. Our time would certainly be better spent seeking a closer relationship with God and therein lies the paradox. That paradox is the closer we are to God and the more dependent we are on Him the less important it becomes to know the unanswerable things in our lives. It's called faith. The more we let go and allow our faith to strengthen and grow the less important it become for us to control ourselves and our world by being a know-it-all. Resignation and acceptance is a very hard thing for us incorporate into our daily lives. I have struggled with this and it always feels like I am giving up...but giving up what? Seriously, God doesn't need my help...input...or assistance with any pressing personal or world issues. My only hope is that He is humored that I still sometimes want to help Him do his job. I am sure He literally has thousands of consultants and could do fine with one less. We try to go out of our way to make the questions both profound and compelling and I am so sure He is totally humored by that...a lot. However, even the fact I know all of this... it doesn't seem to quench my thirst to understand and know things that God just will never share with me. If it stands in the way of my faith and belief that God knows what is best for me well then perhaps I will never know...it's ok...I still have a piece of that first apple stuck in my throat...

On Turning Ten...

The whole idea of it makes me feel
like I'm coming down with something,
something worse than any stomach ache
or the headaches I get from reading in bad light--
a kind of measles of the spirit,
a mumps of the psyche,
a disfiguring chicken pox of the soul.

You tell me it is too early to be looking back,
but that is because you have forgotten
the perfect simplicity of being one
and the beautiful complexity introduced by two.
But I can lie on my bed and remember every digit.

At four I was an Arabian wizard.
I could make myself invisible
by drinking a glass of milk a certain way.
At seven I was a soldier, at nine a prince.
But now I am mostly at the window
watching the late afternoon light.

Back then it never fell so solemnly
against the side of my tree house,
and my bicycle never leaned against the garage
as it does today,
all the dark blue speed drained out of it.

This is the beginning of sadness, I say to myself,
as I walk through the universe in my sneakers.
It is time to say good-bye to my imaginary friends,
time to turn the first big number.

It seems only yesterday I used to believe
there was nothing under my skin but light.
If you cut me I could shine.
But now when I fall upon the sidewalks of life,
I skin my knees. I bleed.

Billy Collins

changing weather...changing minds

Growing up in the Ohio river valley for most of my life there is one thing I know about the weather during the Easter season here...it can be very changeable and dangerous. As a matter of fact Palm Sunday has historically been the day of some of the worst tornado outbreaks in history. There were devastating killer tornado outbreaks on Palm Sundays in 1920, 1965, and 1994 and this Palm Sunday 2011. The temperature swings can be extreme and can vary as much as 40 degrees in 12 hours. It's called unpredictable...changeable... Ohio River valley spring and if you live here you just get used to it. So, why am I telling you all this? Where am I going with this, you probably are wondering, right? Admittedly, this is a big jump here...so bear with me. I got to thinking about how things can be so completely changeable in a short period of time...things other that the weather...things like peoples attitudes and opinions and affections. In light of thinking and reflecting about the essence of Palm Sunday and what it represents in the historical Christian tradition I see some small bit of analogy here. On the Sunday before the resurrection of the crucified Christ...just seven days previous... there was joyous celebration in the air...excitement...and expectancy as the King of the Jews rode into Jerusalem. People lined the road and crowds gathered and many jockeyed for a position in order to get a better view. As told in Matthew 21,

“And when they drew nigh unto Jerusalem, and were come to Bethphage, unto the mount of Olives, then sent Jesus two disciples, Saying unto them, Go into the village over against you, and straightway ye shall find an ass tied, and a colt with her: loose them, and bring them unto me. And if any man say ought unto you, ye shall say, The Lord hath need of them; and straightway he will send them. All this was done, that it might be fulfilled which was spoken by the prophet, saying, Tell ye the daughter of Sion, Behold, thy King cometh unto thee, meek, and sitting upon an ass, and a colt the foal of an ass. And the disciples went, and did as Jesus commanded them, And brought the ass, and the colt, and put on them their clothes, and they set him thereon. And a very great multitude spread their garments in the way; others cut down branches from the trees, and strawed them in the way. And the multitudes that went before, and that followed, cried, saying, Hosanna to the son of David: Blessed is he that cometh in the name of the Lord; Hosanna in the highest. And when he was come into Jerusalem, all the city was moved, saying, Who is this? And the multitude said, This is Jesus the prophet of Nazareth of Galilee.”

As with everything Jesus did there was much symbolism embedded into this very act of riding into Jerusalem. Even the unlikely choice of riding in on a lowly donkey was a subliminal message to those who understood these things. In this time it was customary to honor someone worthy of the highest respect by covering their path they were traveling with palm leaves and sometimes their garments. This day was no different as people laying their palm fronds created a green leafy carpet for every step of the donkeys foot. Actually the very act of riding a donkey was controversial as Jesus never rode anywhere. Additionally, this was considered a mission of peace as opposed to riding a horse which would be considered warlike. The ever increasing crowd was going wild...singing...shouting...cheering. Hosanna...Hosanna...Hosanna! Blessed is the one who comes in the name of the Lord. And then...in the period of 5 short days...the weather radically changed in Jerusalem. Dark heavy clouds gathered on the horizon signaling an upcoming storm that was about to change everything...forever. The adoring crowd has now become an angry mob. Their fickle affections had now turned to a murderous rage. The exact same people who were welcoming Jesus into Jerusalem days ago were not calling for Him to be killed. KILL HIM ! ...replaced Hosanna...every imaginable gesture of distain and hatred replaced the raised hands of adoration only days before. Cursing... beating... spitting... was what greeted the King now. How unimaginable that the tide of public opinion and welcoming acceptance would shift so violently and unexpectedly in a few short days. As they say...the weather took a dramatic turn...and was about to get worse...

True Love...

True Love

by Robert Penn Warren

In silence the heart raves. It utters words
Meaningless, that never had
A meaning. I was ten, skinny, red-headed,

Freckled. In a big black Buick,
Driven by a big grown boy, with a necktie, she sat
In front of the drugstore, sipping something

Through a straw. There is nothing like
Beauty. It stops your heart. It
Thickens your blood. It stops your breath. It

Makes you feel dirty. You need a hot bath.
I leaned against a telephone pole, and watched.
I thought I would die if she saw me.

How could I exist in the same world with that brightness?
Two years later she smiled at me. She
Named my name. I thought I would wake up dead.

Her grown brothers walked with the bent-knee
Swagger of horsemen. They were slick-faced.
Told jokes in the barbershop. Did no work.

Their father was what is called a drunkard.
Whatever he was he stayed on the third floor
Of the big white farmhouse under the maples for twenty-five years.

He never came down. They brought everything up to him.
I did not know what a mortgage was.
His wife was a good, Christian woman, and prayed.

When the daughter got married, the old man came down wearing
An old tail coat, the pleated shirt yellowing.
The sons propped him. I saw the wedding. There were

Engraved invitations, it was so fashionable. I thought
I would cry. I lay in bed that night
And wondered if she would cry when something was done to her.

The mortgage was foreclosed. That last word was whispered.
She never came back. The family
Sort of drifted off. Nobody wears shiny boots like that now.

But I know she is beautiful forever, and lives
In a beautiful house, far away.
She called my name once. I didn't even know she knew it.

ringing my (Rob) bell...

“There are persons who, when they cease to shock us, cease to interest us.”-F.H. Bradley

Things that polarize...sports...politics...and Rob Bell. No...I'm just kidding, Rob...it's really not your fault...it's just that crazy business you're in. What business is that... you might be asking about now, right? The business of polarizing people who look to others not only for leadership but for wholly unoriginal thoughts they then adopt as their own personal theology. It's called religion. Sadly, this business of polarization has become the new normal within Evangelical Christian circles with numerous rock star style pastors espousing positions and posing questions that are basically unanswerable but provoke lots of talk. This talk does little to push forward agenda of Jesus and to rescue the lost and oppressed throughout the entirety of the world. We are far more concerned with defending positions and debating irrelevant fine points of theology. Polarization draws lines...you on your side...me on mine. This isolates us and we seek out others who are not only like us but will support the way we think and believe. I think the term is we become...tribes. We then become black and white thinkers and zealously guard our positions and go on the defensive when questioned or attacked. If you are going to stand up...be the voice... and propose to speak the truth as if you are the sole holder of it you must be open to other possibilities and willing to entertain questions. Any refusal to do that becomes dangerous and toxic for those you assume to speak for. That is exactly how cults come into being. I think it's good and healthy to have open honest dialogue on controversial issues. However this huge dust up with those who want to weigh in on Rob Bells new book, Love Wins, leaves me both confused and sad at the same time. I have tried personally many times to understand why that I need a dense complicated theology in my day to day life of being a witness for the transforming power of redemption in my life. I think I can explain the gospel very clearly and concisely in a way that even those in another culture would understand. We have taken something so simple and easily presentable and hopelessly mired it in lots of theories and concepts that are totally unnecessary. It is like you are wanting to discuss the fine technical points of the breast stroke versus the back stroke to a man who is drowning. Seriously...the guy just wants to be saved...literally. This incessant wrangling and fighting over the most irrelevant minutia of theological and denominational differences does not necessarily drive the gospel forward. I feel like those not secure in their spiritual foundation and having some maturity in their relationship with Christ are the ones who suffer the most. Imagine their confusion and disappointment as their favorite pastor...falls out of favor based on some controversial comments...a book...or even worse. I have discovered this in my many interactions with so called Christians in a lot of different situations. I have come to the understanding that there are far too many of these people who are more concerned about a “chip-on-their-theological-shoulder”...or tooting loudly their doctrinal horn... than they are with broadening and welcoming in new members into the body of Christ. I am constantly encountering Southern Baptist Calvinists who attack non Calvinists. I find Methodists who attack Presbyterians, those who favor one pastor style over another and those who even are divided over worship music. As Christians we are always seeming to be on the attack and critical of anyone or anything outside the narrow confines of our own personal beliefs. If we are so critical of those who believe in God but have fine technical theological or denominational differences how could we possibly ever hope to reach the lost and disconnected? We can't...and we don't. We unfortunately turn many of our churches into a “members only” club and are not welcoming of diversity. Do you think...for a second...that people curious about your faith or church don't see this? We, as followers of Christ are always being watched by those outside of the church. Do I reflect a story of redemption and restoration to someone on the fringes or am I too busy talking and playing church...instead of doing what God desires of me? The whole thing is both ludicrous and disheartening . Sure, we can have civil discussions and there will be differences of opinion and disagreements but it's ok...we need to because we are thinkers and we have opinions. But...let us remember this one important thing... our differences need to be presented in a way that mirrors humility and love. When these differences of opinion and the personalities become more important than unity in the body of Christ, then idolatry has crept not only into the church, but also into our hearts. So, back to Rob Bell...Quite simple put...Rob has become a predictable product which many consume eagerly but actually he never seems to satisfy our hunger. He has discovered a formula that has been working very well for him since his early days at seminary. There is no doubt that he is a gifted communicator and is quite able to speak to the angst of the demographic he claims to represent. He has carefully and cleverly elevated himself to a position at the forefront of influential Christians who loudly proclaim a new paradigm for those who find no solace in the old traditions of Christianity. It only stands to reason when you intentionally elevate yourself to such a position of high visibility and claim to speak in absolute truths people are going to scrutinize your every word and action and have plenty of stinging criticism. I am sure it's really nothing personal...they just think you're wrong...and they are going to tell you and everyone else...

getting the garden ready...

There's something about working your hands in the soil. This is the time of the year when the primal urge wells up inside of me to “turn the earth”. It's entirely predictable... this feeling comes without fail every year...and I suppose it always will. Over the years of my life I have had many gardens...some quite large and some the more small backyard variety. The one thing I know is that to have a healthy productive garden it takes work...sometimes lots of work. I am reminded of this quote by Wendell Berry where he says,

"Odd as I am sure it will appear to some, I can think of no better form of personal involvement in the cure of the environment than that of gardening. A person who is growing a garden, if he is growing it organically, is improving a piece of the world. He is producing something to eat, which makes him somewhat independent of the grocery business, but he is also enlarging, for himself, the meaning of food and the pleasure of eating”.

When you work your hands in the soil there is a connection that stretches across the generations. Our parents...our grandparents...and perhaps their parents that tilled the lands and raised food have been intimately involved in the timeless struggle to improve their piece of the world. What drives this struggle that continues despite sometimes overwhelming odds? Again Wendell Berry sums it up nicely when he says,

“ the care of the earth is our most ancient and most worthy, and after all our most pleasing responsibility. To cherish what remains of it and to foster it's renewal is our only hope”.

I think it is that hope which rises up in us when we place the tiniest seed into the ground and anticipate the growth and harvest is life affirming. Even in that tiny seed there is potential waiting to burst forth. Gardening and garden references were widely sprinkled throughout the entirety of the bible. In fact the beginning of the history of mankind on the earth began in a perfect garden called Eden created by God. Throughout the bible there are many references to fruit and vineyards and vines and fruit bearing. Jesus used these agricultural illustrations to demonstrate a particular teaching to the people and His disciples. Over the years I have learned that certain basic principles apply as much to gardening as they do to my daily walk and relationship with Jesus. I think the three distinct elements of sower, soil and seed are critical metaphors in understanding the necessity of getting our hands dirty in the soil and sharing the gospel with the world. In the bigger picture of this analogy God is the sower...his word is the seed and I am the soil...which seems both paradoxical and appropriate to me. Any gardener worth their salt knows the importance of not only good quality soil but good preparation of that soil. In another weird analogy...I see rocks as representative of sin. Just as it is difficult to have a productive garden with rocky soil so is it to have a life of purpose and service if filled with sin. Jesus spoke of this when He said,

“Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.”

Jesus was clear as He taught that rocks...or sin... ruins your soil and keeps it from being productive and what you plant there will be in vain as it will not take root. This is what happens to us so many times...we try to do church or play religion and desperately plant in the poor rocky soil of our sin filled lives to no avail and we get frustrated and blame God and the church and give up. The good news is that God never moves and still is ready to sow His seed into us despite our shortcomings as gardeners and perennial lack of green thumbs. It's far too often that people all of us in all Christian faith tend to view the idea of Christian maturity or discipleship as intellectual Christian growth. Sadly, the focus for most of us is more on head knowledge than on life change. It is good to know scripture. It is good to study the Bible. But all that knowledge is worthless if we don't turn it into a life change. God is more concerned about the way we live then how much information we pack into our heads. A telling sign of that life change is how well we tend our gardens...our piece of the world...our lives. Are we working to improve the soil...remove the rocks...pruning the non bearing branches and dead wood? This is an active ever changing task that requires both patience and diligence. It is not enough just to plant the seed and ignore it and hope for the best. We know what happens then...our gardens turn into weed patches overrun with pest. Is this what God desires from us? I really doubt it. He wants to pull the weeds...kill the bugs...remove the rocks...and do everything we are able to have this totally amazingly productive and beautiful garden. Oh yeah...He wants us to get our hands really dirty too....

April 7 2011...

"Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.

Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go.
Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection."

— Wendell Berry

ordinary people...extraordinary things...

I believe that there is a powerful redemption and restoration that comes from doing extremely difficult physical challenges. I have never been much of a physical challenge guy at any time in my life...especially at what many consider to be mid-life. I certainly wasn't the guy seeking to push the envelope of what was physically impossible and then seek the next bigger and better challenge. No sir...not me. I was not a jock in high school and played very little sports and never really developed a taste for either participating or watching. I realize making that true confession really calls my manliness into question...it's ok...I don't hunt or fish either. So,...for me... doing something physically extreme is about as likely as Lohan is to stay out of jail. I think just the mere thoughts of the most moderately physical things are tiring sometimes. The problem is that I have trouble with my vision...that is seeing what winning looks and feels like. We can so easily fall into routines...ruts...and live our ordinary lives of comfort and predictability never daring to go beyond our self imposed limitations. The shocking reality we often discover is the only limits we are constrained by are the ones we place on ourselves. Those can be so disabling to the point we give up even trying anything new or challenging. We are defeated before we even start. There are several problems with this but primarily it chokes the life out of our faith in God to do amazing and unexpected things in our lives. There is a certain satisfaction that comes when we can say...I did what I thought was impossible. It's a rush...it's exciting. There is an ever greater feeling that comes when we say...and understand...it only happened because of God working through me and empowering me in a often times crazy way. As I have said many times before, God likes to take the most impossible situation and use the most ordinary and unlikely person to demonstrate His power to others. I have heard people say...”that's IMPOSSIBLE”...or...”that's CRAZY”. I have discovered many things that I just didn't believe possible...even in my wildest imagination...became quite possible and was shocking to myself and others. I have discovered that the twin elements of these amazing stories of success and redemption are... courage and faith. I have analyzed these two concepts for endless hours. To step out in courage...even believing you might fail...requires a significant amount of faith. It sometimes seems like faith in everyday things is so ordinary and unspoken. However, when it come to bear in a personal way and that faith is challenged and we feel the weakness of it it is all so differently then. Jesus worked on this issue a lot with both His disciples and those He met during His ministry. It is like how the disciples reacted when Jesus walked on the water...they were astonished at the sheer impossibility...in their minds...of what had been done. Their true faith came in that moment and with that miracle. Many times we look at a situation or opportunity and immediately see the difficulty...the impossibility...the obstacles that stand in the way. We don't allow our faith to even enter into the situation. We find reason to not even try to summon up courage as our fear of failure...or looking stupid...or wondering what people will think robs us of perhaps a chance to redeem a part of our life we need to take back. The devil is constantly stealing away our lives one bite at a time and each time we give in to doubt and fear there goes another piece. Is that what you want? To just be slowly chipped away at until there is nothing left? Probably not...Reclaiming an authentic life of significance and purpose is hard because we have to be thoughtful and intentional each step of the way. It requires discipline and vision...two things that are sorely lacking for most of us. It's hard to trust...to believe...to let go...when you have been hurt and disappointed by failures of others and your own. There is a richness and a texture of life that comes when we stare down our fears and anxieties and step off that edge...knowing we will be caught by a loving Savior. That's calming and reassuring and yet so hard for us to grasp how liberating that can be. We are bound and wrapped up in a tangle of fear and insecurities that literally at times can paralyze us into doing nothing...sitting waiting on God...or watching others. This is not what God desires for us. He wants us in the game...whether we are the ace pitcher or not...it doesn't matter. We are called by the very love that has redeemed us to this amazing life with Him. We are called to do the impossible extraordinary thing because in doing so it only does two things...it glorifies Him and allows us to be a powerful witness to others. I have been transformed by this redemption that comes from doing amazing...previously thought impossible...things. Now I'm different. I think this sums it up pretty well. In the book, Risking Faith, Dr. Steve Stephens writes, “I don’t want an ordinary God any more than I want an ordinary faith. Ordinary might make me feel good, but it will never inspire and astound me. Only an extraordinary God can move me beyond complacency in such a way that I cannot help but be changed”

loving the unlovable...

I won't lie...sometimes it's hard for me to love people in the same embracing non-judgmental way that Jesus did. I feel like most of the time I try very hard but sometimes I just fall short. I simply cannot seem to give some the one thing they truly desire from me and I struggle to understand why. Sometimes it is the fault of others as they make it very difficult for me to respond in a positive and loving way because of their behavior. Now I have to admit, I frequently struggle with this one. Let's face it, some people just make it difficult to love them. So how do you love those who appear to be unlovable? Jesus provides us some wise insight in 1 John 5:21 where He says, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” The reality is though...it's mostly me...it's a wall that I put up. Jesus also says in 1 John 3:18 , “Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions.” Just as the timeless cliché says...actions speak louder than words... and that is really true when we are trying to love people like Jesus has demonstrated for us so many times. We like to talk a lot and can sound convincing and appear very loving to others. But sometimes there is a fundamental disconnect between what we say and what we do. Our experiences create judgments and prejudices which creep into our lives in both subtle and blatant ways and affect how we relate to people. Most often that is based on very broad stereotypes we assign to people. We like to label people and put them in places where they are unreachable and unlovable. I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus meant when He said for us to keep away from anything that might take God's place in our hearts. I suppose that would mean something like anger, resentment, hatred, jealousy and bitterness. It also surely must include things like annoyance, irritability, impatience, and frustration which puts us into a state where we are momentarily separating ourselves from “the least of these”...and of course...God. Many times there are emotional associations attached to people we are trying to love and those emotions can exert huge influence over our choice of how we respond to others. There is an investment of emotional energy and we want a payback. Often times we are so selfish and self seeking it is impossible for us to reach out beyond our own needs to connect with another. Perhaps fear of the unknown and loss of control or being controlled by others is a factor. How someone will respond is unpredictable and we try to control that through manipulation and measured responses to those individuals. If you do not leave behind the emotions associated with this person, then you are still letting them take God’s place in your life. And by doing so, they are continuing to control your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions. You can’t “love” someone with your “actions” if your emotions are not in a state of love and peace and completely centered on God. This is the challenge that we all face...to come out of the self absorbed world in which we live and be mindful of the needs of others. It is easy for us to feel overwhelmed with the amount of needs we face every day both in our communities and the world. It can be so overpowering and we can fell so helpless that we are stunned into paralysis feeling totally incapable to make a dent in anything. This is why there is so much talk and advocacy with little action to address pressing needs. Talk is cheap...literally and emotionally...and easy... and keeps God out of the picture. To love others in the way that Jesus has shown requires action and service and it begins with one...me. I have to understand the basic fact that I was once that unreachable and unlovable person and Jesus sought me out and redeemed and restored me with His love. Love is not static...love is a verb. How arrogant of me to be so selfish and filled with pride as to not believe that those I perceive as unlovable and untouchable could just as easy be me. If not for the totally unmerited grace that I constantly receive from Jesus...that would be me. That should be a sobering thought for all of us when we feel that need to withhold love from someone based on how they look, act, think, smell or in any other way they might offend us. Jesus certainly didn't have a problem with any of that...why do we? How will you serve today? How will you reach out in an unexpected way to that someone you find tough to love? Someone is waiting on you...