the prodigal dad...

"But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him. "The son said to him, `Father, I have sinned against heaven and against you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. ' But the father said to his servants, `Quick! Bring the best robe and put it on him. Put a ring on his finger and sandals on his feet. Bring the fattened calf and kill it. Let's have a feast and celebrate. For this son of mine was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' So they began to celebrate.” Luke 15: 20-24

In probably one of the most well known and frequently cited parables of the bible we celebrate the return of something thought lost forever...a beloved son. The unimaginable joy of a father seeing his rebellious son come home...sheer bliss. However, as we all know, sometimes these stories are illustrations of a larger story that Jesus is trying to tell us in a very cryptic way. I love the visuals and the mental imagery created by this story and as a father I can both appreciate and relate here. The bigger question for me is...what about the son that refuses to relent and come back? What about the dad that continues to watch...and wait...and hope to see his son “a long way off” because of alienation of his own doing? I am that dad...the prodigal dad. In the weirdest reversal of roles in this story and the most cruel twist possible I have turned this parable of Jesus upside down. It's not easy to say I had a hand in this but the reality is it's mostly my fault and sometimes that is hard to swallow. It seems like the things we do to ourselves are the things that make us the maddest. One thing necessary to be a good dad is commitment...commitment to being present both physically and mentally. Like many fathers who fall short I was lacking on that one thing that is necessary to keep a family together. There is no magical formula that makes things come together and stay together...it is a lot of work. Unfortunately many of us dads have a tendency to give up when the going gets tough. And... when the going gets tough...we leave...we walk out. Once out, it becomes really hard to come back and be present in the way we should. We become part-time dads at best. We come and go as we please and drift in and out of our kids lives without thought of the consequences. The consequences are there is no stability...no consistency...and eventually no trust. It's easy to be this kind of dad and many of us do it. I never imagined the example I was setting and the kind of long lasting damage inflicted because of my ignorance and irresponsibility. The ultimate realization of that fact only makes us run farther away...and I did. A significant problem is that despite many claims to the contrary...there are no instruction manuals for dads. Even if there were we probably wouldn't look at them anyways...we are kind of bad about that. We believe we can figure it out on our own and the weight of the type of father we had bears down heavily upon us and the weight of their fathers on them. Unless one had a stellar atypical perfect father who got it from the outset...we fumbled along with their failings as well. I am well familiar with the toll on society as a whole as well as individual relationships. It is a cost that we all are bearing in one way or another. I certainly am not making excuses for myself or anyone else. Things are different now...I am different now. I am the father waiting with the best robe, ring and I know someone with a fattened calf. Apparently there is a lot of truth to the maxim...like father, like son. Many times we both are waiting for the same things...the long and awaited and anticipated homecoming. Sadly, our stubbornness and inexperience with grace, forgiveness, and redemption makes the reunion especially awkward. So many expectations...fears...and things to be said. Trust comes back on it's own time and cannot be rushed. Hope is slow to emerge from the protection where it has lived for a long time. This all is an agonizing and difficult process...but faith dictates that both father and son wait...and watch carefully to see the other coming back...from a long way off...