waiting & warming the bench...redux

It always seems like there seasons in our lives when we are waiting...waiting to hear from God...waiting for the next adventure...waiting to write the next chapter of our story. Waiting is really hard for me. I feel fidgety and tense and have to resist this real desire to help God along on whatever He has planned next for my life. I thought I would repost a blog from a few years ago, written during a season of waiting. I'll just call this one a “Waiting and warming the bench...redux.”
So, I’m sitting on the bench …waiting…to be put into the game. I have trained hard for this moment and I feel especially confident that God will use me. I have “suited up”, I’ve studied the opponent, have learned the plays….C’mon God…put me in the game. Can’t you see I’m dying here? I can help “our side” win. Seriously, God, I’m ready…this is the big game…this is the one I’ve been waiting for. This pretty much sums up how I feel a lot of the time. I am waiting for the next big thing, that big opportunity to show God what I can do for Him. Sadly though, I am going through the agonizing process of learning this is not what God wants from me. As famed writer, Herni Nouwen says, “Waiting is not a very popular attitude. In fact, most people consider waiting a waste of time. Perhaps this is because the culture in which we live is basically saying, “Get going! Do something! Show you are able to make a difference! Don’t just sit there and wait!” For many people, waiting is an awful desert between where they are and where they want to go. And people do not like such a place. They want to get out of it by doing something. In our particular historical situation, waiting is even more difficult because we are so fearful. One of the most pervasive emotions in the atmosphere around us is fear. People are afraid—afraid of inner feelings, afraid of other people, and also afraid of the future. And fearful people have a hard time waiting”. I particularly do not like the waiting part and many times I do, in fact, feel like I am in that awful place between where I am and where I want to go. And for me my natural inclination is to help God along in “putting me into the game” by busying myself with trying to show God how ready I am. WRONG. Not what God wants at all. He made that clear in Luke 10:38-42, when it says, “As Jesus and his disciples were on their way, he came to a village where a woman named Martha opened her home to him. She had a sister called Mary, who sat at the Lord's feet listening to what he said. But Martha was distracted by all the preparations that had to be made. She came to him and asked, "Lord, don't you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me!" "Martha, Martha," the Lord answered, "you are worried and upset about many things, but only one thing is needed. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her." Ah, it’s the age old dilemma…doing versus just being. I so long for God to use me and place me in situations where I can serve Him in extraordinary ways. I have always wanted God to use me to reach out to touch the lives of other people, to be of service for Him and for others in unimaginable ways , to be a useful and valued part of the Body of Christ. I am so busy looking for the big things I realize I quite often miss the small things. I have agonized and wrung my hands needlessly wondering why God just won’t use me for this thing or that. The truth hit me full on and it was that there is a significant difference between God’s desires and mine. Whoops… So, let’s see…God’s desires…not mine, be still and don’t busy myself with things of little importance… Hmmm and finally wait on God and don’t be fearful. WOW. I think these are challenges for all of us as these are the pressures that bear so heavily upon us in our daily lives. A daily prayer for us all is Psalms 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God…”. In that stillness we are reminded of the ever present voice speaking as it always has and always will. There is no need to fear the wait because this is what God wants and He tells us “blessed is he that waiteth”. So, I wait and I am learning that that’s ok.

rearranging furniture...

My wife has this thing that she loves to do about this time of the year...rearrange the furniture in the living room. I am not sure what exactly triggers in her this ancient primal need but I think it is either the incredibly frigid weather outside or the ceremonial taking down of the Christmas tree. Whatever it is I have come to recognize the look she gets in her eye as she scans around the room and then looks out the window...pensive... as if looking at a complex math problem in her head. “You know, it's good to rearrange things things from time to time” she says, still gazing out of the window. That's my cue...to get up and start “picking up” as she calls it. Once things are picked up to her satisfaction, she smiles a smile that I also have come to recognize. satisfaction...the plan is complete and pictured in her mind. The physical rearrangement commences...the vacuum comes out...the cat runs...and in a matter of minutes her vision has been executed with surgical precision. There comes that smile again...satisfaction. It's a good thing to rearrange some things in our lives sometimes...and not just our living room furniture. One of the huge benefits is that it gives us a different view than we have had for a while. It is so easy for things to get comfortable and predictable. Sometimes they are so predictable and in place in my house that I feel, if immediately struck blind...I could navigate pretty well. That's called familiarity. However, it can be a very dangerous thing as we can be easily lulled to sleep in our safety and comfort. I really like to rearrange things as well but in ways more challenging than where will I sit to watch TV. I sometimes equate comfort with routine and doing what is easy and not too risky. It is easy to get into a so called rut and get stuck and believe that things can only be arranged one way...whether furniture, our day, or what is important. I have discovered a great way to discover what things mean...give them up for a while. I have found that intentionally going without something is self revealing about both myself and what that thing represents in my life. For example, for the last few years, we have given up TV and “unplugged” from social media and most internet usage for the month of January. I suppose you could call it a fast, of sorts. It is utterly amazing the transformation that occurs in us when this happens. We talk “to” and not “at” each other...we read a few very interesting books...we listen...really listen...to some thought provoking music... and most importantly we pray, focus and hear Gods voice speaking very loud. Yeah, I know what you are saying about now...Gods voice ? Yeah, that's what I said...Gods voice...plain and clear. Deep inside the depths of our souls...away from the distractions of our daily lives...God is always speaking. The other thing that is so noticeable during this time of quiet is that we consume so much less of everything. We directly attribute that to the incessant barrage of mind control marketing we are not subject to on TV. Again, we become numb and hypnotized by TV and are fair game for every clever marketing campaign tells us what is sexy and desirable. A thing becomes only desirable to the degree of desire it creates within us. However, it is a false and short-lived desire as we want even more the new and improved version of the next best thing. I do not want that type of desire to be programmed into my mind as it is endless and agonizing to “keep up”. I have a different kind of desire and that creates conflict and I have learned, from a good friend, that conflict is a vital part of the story we are writing with our lives. This pseudo-desire for material things burns up in a flash like putting a piece of well seasoned pine wood on a hot fire. It makes a big fire...gives some heat(satisfaction)...but doesn't last. I really want to live in genuine desire of God and the things that are of God. I want to be in constant communion with Him and when there is an abundance of extraneous noise or other distractions present it is difficult. Listening isn't always easy...especially for me. My mind tends to be VERY busy most of the time. However...I want to listen more and pay attention to that voice that speaks to me in a very profound way...or often times speaks through other people...I want to learn to listen to them also. I want to understand the process more of how and why He chooses to speak to me. I know that is done by spending time in prayer, studying the Bible and quietly contemplating what is being spoken in that moment. I know that the more time that is spent in intimacy with God and His words, the easier is will be to recognize His speaking. Why is that so hard ?...I don't know, really. I do know that I am working on it very much during this “quiet time” in January and I am listening...close...right now.

Act Justly, Love Mercy, Walk Humbly...

What does Jesus say to those who possess abundance and wealth in the midst of indescribable poverty? He says a lot...but the bigger question for us to explore is do we hear and, most importantly, act on what He says? I think you would perhaps agree that we frequently fall very short of true sacrificial giving to the poor and those in need. Sadly, a lot of us give in a conscience assuaging and fairly token way, for the most part. It is interesting to note that according to Micah's prophecy the people of Israel and Judah were searching for what it is that God wants of them. Micah quotes them as saying: (Micah 6:6-7) With what shall I come before the LORD and bow down before the exalted God? Shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves a year old? (7) Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams, with ten thousand rivers of oil? Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

We, unfortunately, think we know what Jesus requires of us and offer... a canned religious response, a “I go to church” response, a predictable “raise your hands” in worship response. The worshipers of Micah's day were quite prepared to give whatever they believed was required; they were willing to bring any and every sacrifice that the Lord requested; if the Lord demands it they, like Abraham, were even willing to sacrifice their own children. In today's language, we think all we have to do is go to church and that is sufficient. The reality is that there is a huge difference between “going” to church and “being” the church. Yes...absolutely, the Lord does want praise and worship from us. He does love our gifts and offerings given in the right context. BUT... He wants much more than a “just enough” response. Micah tells us God's requirements extend to all of the entirety of the week and not just to what happens in the church on Sundays. (Micah 6:8) He has showed you, O man, what is good. And what does the LORD require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God.
In the first place, God requires us to act justly. What does this mean and what does this look like for us? Today, January 11, is National Human Trafficking Awareness Day. We can say one way to act justly means to accept responsibility for the well-being of those suffering oppression as result of being trafficked or enslaved in any manner under other forms of modern day slavery: widows, orphans, disabled, poor, elderly, homeless, and others. These weaker, fragile most vulnerable and disenfranchised members of society are to be found not just here where we live, but also in Asia, Mexico, the Ukraine, Haiti, Africa, Dominican Republic and throughout the entirety of the world. To act justly means to accept responsibility for the well-being of a hungry mother and her children in the Sudan, a child in bondage held for the express purpose of sex, an underpaid sugarcane worker in the Dominican Republic, a dispossessed farmer in Africa, a pensioned widow in inner-city Chicago, and a welfare mom or single mother anywhere in America. To act justly means to accept responsibility for the well-being of the one billion people who are chronically malnourished and who go to bed most nights with empty stomachs. As Gary Haugen, President of International Justice Mission, often says, “ The good news about injustice is...God is against it.” God's Old Testament people very much needed to hear from Micah the demand to act justly in their time just as much as we do today. They needed to hear this because their day-to-day life was marked by a shocking lack of care and concern for the poor, the widow, the orphan, and the alien. In fact, they oppressed the poor and often made life more difficult for them. I find it so utterly amazing the similarities between the days of Micah and our present time. We need not look hard or far to see that we have become selfish, self centered and self serving. Despite all the talk to the contrary we still are about words and not so much in the way of deeds. It's haunting to listen to Micah's words of condemnation: (Micah 2:2) They covet fields and seize them, and houses, and take them. They defraud a man of his home, a fellowman of his inheritance How could one not be reminded of the current foreclosure mess and abundant illegal land seizures going around the world, particularly in third world nations. In another place Micah accuses them of using dishonest scales, weights, and measures in order to get for themselves ill-gotten treasures at the expense of the poor (Micah 6:10,11; Micah 3:1-3).
We are being commanded to be more like Jesus here. Over and over again Scripture tells us about God's concern for the weak,helpless and poor. Deuteronomy 10:18, for instance: "He defends the cause of the fatherless and the widow, and loves the alien, giving him food and clothing." Or the prophet Isaiah: (Isa 1:17) ... learn to do right! Seek justice, encourage the oppressed. Defend the cause of the fatherless, plead the case of the widow. (Is 10:1,2; Psalm 103:6; Amos 5:11,15). There are literally hundreds of passages of scripture that clearly demonstrate that the priority of serving the least is foremost on the mind of Jesus. The Gospels present to us a picture of Jesus... who has tremendous compassion on the frequently assembled crowds, who desires that the little children to come to Him, who is concerned about the plight and welfare of widows and orphans, who continuously heals the sick, who has mercy and bestows healing grace on lepers, who cares for prostitutes who have given up on themselves in their despair, who can promise forgiveness and salvation to every prisoner whether shackled mentally or physically. He was angry about any and every injustice and treated all people equally. Today when there is such overwhelming hunger and seemingly limitless poverty, today when we are to be counted among the world's most wealthy, we are to be like Jesus and mirror His acts of justice in every way possible. God also requires that we love mercy. Because to love mercy is to be filled with an intense longing to help others, to do kind and compassionate deeds for those who are in need. We have been given divine power from Jesus and that with our compassion is all we need to accomplish His work on the earth. Here too we are to imitate God. God, you see, is merciful and full of loving kindness. How can we who have so much abundance in an age of hunger show mercy and bestow grace? We can show compassionate treatment of those in distress and with even the most minor needs. We are the bearers of Christ's grace and we are to dispense it liberally upon others and in doing so we show mercy. There is a very powerful thing that happens when we come along side of someone in this way. This is the same type of compassion Jesus showed to all without respect to the nuances of the situation. In this grace comes love and this brings redemption and restoration. This is the thing that we all desire...to be redeemed and restored into a loving relationship with our Father. This is the primary task we are called to in all that we do. Finally, what does the Lord require of you but "to walk humbly with your God." This is the most important of the three requirements. In fact, unless you walk humbly with your God you cannot act justly or love mercy. It truly is an impossibility... What does it mean to walk humbly with God? It means to live with humility and gratitude. It is the quality of being respectful of others and seeing the “Jesus” in people in our interactions with them. Humility is totally the opposite of how most of us live. We are caught up in a world of arrogance, vanity, aggressiveness and boastfulness of what we have done on our own. Clearly, the challenge is to make Him the center of your life in everything you do and everywhere you go. It means to live a life of fellowship with God...constantly. It means to give your heart to Jesus...wholly and completely and to be thankful for what you have received. The Jesus who gave His life for you deserves nothing less. It means to be filled with the Holy Spirit and the power of Christ so that you are born again and are a new Creation in Christ. It means to spend time with God in prayer and Bible reading. Jesus has called us to a life of discipleship just as He called out His original disciples. I want to live this life and I try really hard to be mindful of the fact that nothing else really matters. It's just so easy to be distracted ...sometimes.

and so...this is how it ends

As 2010 draws to an end and 2011 looms on the horizon it seems there are significantly more questions than answers this year. I think it is a normal thing for us to look back. We are seemingly always prone to do that. Remember Lots wife? Yeah the looking back can have some bad consequences, right? I try not to look at the minutia of the day to day living of my life but I look at the overall direction and trends. Am I still moving in the direction that lines up with what God has chosen and NOT what I desire? It is really easy to blur the lines sometimes when we want something so bad. I find that I tend to over analyze situations particularly where I feel like I have fallen short of what God expects of me. I know that I am prone to disappoint people for a lot of reasons...mostly expectations. I have done a fair amount of disappointing this year. But more importantly, I really hate it when I feel like I disappoint God in the many opportunities He gives me. Weirdly enough, this is what aggravates and frustrates me the most in others. If others don't share my passions and aren't completely missional focused I get lost in their inabilities and let it affect mine. I have actually come to understand this a lot better throughout this year and discovered that sometimes...no, a LOT of times...I just need to get the heck out of the way and let God go to work. On a deeper level I have discovered this is a faith issue and I am slowly learning to take ownership of that. It is not that I don;t believe that God can't do...I just want to help Him. Aren't we all guilty of that ? Yeah, we are. This is the basis of how we all come up with our personal definition of who God is. “BUT WHO DO YOU SAY I AM ?” We put God in a box or on a leash and carefully craft His abilities to suit our needs. Yeah, we do that a lot...So, one of my overarching goals for this next year is just to be very small and let God be very BIG...everywhere I go and in everything I do this next year. It's completely humbling to know everything I've done...especially the seemingly impossible things...the small ordinary things...have been because God has empowered me in order to make Him famous. I have that as my one big goal for 2011...I am sure there will be a lot of unexpected twists and turns on this continued journey. I am sure that I will disappoint people and for that I apologize in advance. Thank you for your grace... I hope and pray that I will disappoint my God even less and just take my hands off the knobs and trust...and breathe. And most importantly, to simply understand what he requires of me...which is:

“With what shall I come before the LORD

 and bow down before the exalted God?

Shall I come before him with burnt offerings,

 with calves a year old?

Will the LORD be pleased with thousands of rams,

 with ten thousand rivers of olive oil?

Shall I offer my firstborn for my transgression,

 the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?

He has shown you, O mortal, what is good.

 And what does the LORD require of you?

To act justly and to love mercy

 and to walk humbly with your God.”

I encourage you in this upcoming year to go beyond your comfort zone and push your faith out to a risky edge...where it's scary and you want to hold on tight and desperately cling to the familiar things. God is calling you to a place where the previously thought impossible becomes your reality. God wants you to let go and abandon your preconceived notions of what He can do...We are the bearers of Gods grace and our challenge this coming year is to show that to people and to dispense it liberally...

Fathers day 2010...random thoughts

In a perfect world, today I would be hanging out with my dad and we would be enjoying each others company. I would be doing all the things we do to honor our dads on their special day. I rather suspect we would be having a cook out in the back yard. I would be cooking and he would be supervising and pointing out everything I was doing wrong. I would just shrug and try to take his semi-constructive criticism with a grain of salt. His grand kids would be running around doing what kids do when out in backyards on fathers day. “c'mon grandpa...throw me the ball...”. He would look amused and that familiar half smile would appear. “Maybe later...you kids go on...”. Yeah, I heard that a lot. It was ok though, I was just happy to have him there and hanging out. I mean...after all...isn't that what fathers day is really about ?? Having dad there hanging out...just being the dad...and doing the stuff that dads do. Like...working on the car...shaving and leaving his whiskers in the bathroom sink...mowing the yard...dropping us off at church...letting us practice driving the car...taking us fishing...reading the paper at breakfast...and yelling a lot. It's funny how much stuff we remember and how much we forget. The painful and difficult times always seem to stand out and overshadow everything else that was good. I have discovered that most holidays, whether major or minor, are actually remembrance days. Some, like Christmas and Thanksgiving are often emotionally charged and highly evocative and reflective of the complexity of living in dysfunctional families. I think fathers day has that effect on many of us whether sons or daughters. It does me...I was like so many others and didn't have the kind of dad... that idealized one that we so often saw on television, growing up in the sixties. The dad I had was the dad that God gave me and it took me a long time to realize this and to be thankful and to be able to honor him. That is a big part of growing up and becoming a dad yourself. The unfortunate thing is when we are struggling with our earthly father child relationship we struggle with out heavenly one as well. That understanding of our heavenly father is a foundational concept in understanding how God wants to bless us and it is the essence of our relationship with Him. Our inability to forge a lasting and sustainable relationship with our biological fathers has such huge implications and ramifications for our continued survival as a society. However, our reluctance to acknowledge and strive for a relationship with our heavenly father has an even bigger impact on ourselves and others. The facts are well known...documented...discussed...and disputed. Here are just a few for you to mull over:

 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes


 80% of rapist motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes


 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in fatherless homes


 71% of pregnant teenagers come from fatherless homes


 80% of all adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes

and finally how about this one to jar you out of your coma...the absence of a biological father increases by 900% a daughters vulnerability to rape and sexual abuse...often at the hands of a step father or boyfriend of the mother.

I think you get the point here...it's beyond bad and we all bear some responsibility. According to an ancient African proverb,“It takes a village to raise a child”and we are all part of that village. For all the kids living in fatherless homes today I pray we get this and someone steps up to the plate...there are a lot of us...waiting.