Fathers day 2010...random thoughts

In a perfect world, today I would be hanging out with my dad and we would be enjoying each others company. I would be doing all the things we do to honor our dads on their special day. I rather suspect we would be having a cook out in the back yard. I would be cooking and he would be supervising and pointing out everything I was doing wrong. I would just shrug and try to take his semi-constructive criticism with a grain of salt. His grand kids would be running around doing what kids do when out in backyards on fathers day. “c'mon grandpa...throw me the ball...”. He would look amused and that familiar half smile would appear. “Maybe later...you kids go on...”. Yeah, I heard that a lot. It was ok though, I was just happy to have him there and hanging out. I mean...after all...isn't that what fathers day is really about ?? Having dad there hanging out...just being the dad...and doing the stuff that dads do. Like...working on the car...shaving and leaving his whiskers in the bathroom sink...mowing the yard...dropping us off at church...letting us practice driving the car...taking us fishing...reading the paper at breakfast...and yelling a lot. It's funny how much stuff we remember and how much we forget. The painful and difficult times always seem to stand out and overshadow everything else that was good. I have discovered that most holidays, whether major or minor, are actually remembrance days. Some, like Christmas and Thanksgiving are often emotionally charged and highly evocative and reflective of the complexity of living in dysfunctional families. I think fathers day has that effect on many of us whether sons or daughters. It does me...I was like so many others and didn't have the kind of dad... that idealized one that we so often saw on television, growing up in the sixties. The dad I had was the dad that God gave me and it took me a long time to realize this and to be thankful and to be able to honor him. That is a big part of growing up and becoming a dad yourself. The unfortunate thing is when we are struggling with our earthly father child relationship we struggle with out heavenly one as well. That understanding of our heavenly father is a foundational concept in understanding how God wants to bless us and it is the essence of our relationship with Him. Our inability to forge a lasting and sustainable relationship with our biological fathers has such huge implications and ramifications for our continued survival as a society. However, our reluctance to acknowledge and strive for a relationship with our heavenly father has an even bigger impact on ourselves and others. The facts are well known...documented...discussed...and disputed. Here are just a few for you to mull over:

 71% of all high school dropouts come from fatherless homes

 90% of all homeless and runaway children are from fatherless homes


 80% of rapist motivated with displaced anger come from fatherless homes


 85% of all youths sitting in prisons grew up in fatherless homes


 71% of pregnant teenagers come from fatherless homes


 80% of all adolescents in psychiatric hospitals come from fatherless homes

and finally how about this one to jar you out of your coma...the absence of a biological father increases by 900% a daughters vulnerability to rape and sexual abuse...often at the hands of a step father or boyfriend of the mother.

I think you get the point here...it's beyond bad and we all bear some responsibility. According to an ancient African proverb,“It takes a village to raise a child”and we are all part of that village. For all the kids living in fatherless homes today I pray we get this and someone steps up to the plate...there are a lot of us...waiting.