getting the garden ready...

There's something about working your hands in the soil. This is the time of the year when the primal urge wells up inside of me to “turn the earth”. It's entirely predictable... this feeling comes without fail every year...and I suppose it always will. Over the years of my life I have had many gardens...some quite large and some the more small backyard variety. The one thing I know is that to have a healthy productive garden it takes work...sometimes lots of work. I am reminded of this quote by Wendell Berry where he says,

"Odd as I am sure it will appear to some, I can think of no better form of personal involvement in the cure of the environment than that of gardening. A person who is growing a garden, if he is growing it organically, is improving a piece of the world. He is producing something to eat, which makes him somewhat independent of the grocery business, but he is also enlarging, for himself, the meaning of food and the pleasure of eating”.

When you work your hands in the soil there is a connection that stretches across the generations. Our parents...our grandparents...and perhaps their parents that tilled the lands and raised food have been intimately involved in the timeless struggle to improve their piece of the world. What drives this struggle that continues despite sometimes overwhelming odds? Again Wendell Berry sums it up nicely when he says,

“ the care of the earth is our most ancient and most worthy, and after all our most pleasing responsibility. To cherish what remains of it and to foster it's renewal is our only hope”.

I think it is that hope which rises up in us when we place the tiniest seed into the ground and anticipate the growth and harvest is life affirming. Even in that tiny seed there is potential waiting to burst forth. Gardening and garden references were widely sprinkled throughout the entirety of the bible. In fact the beginning of the history of mankind on the earth began in a perfect garden called Eden created by God. Throughout the bible there are many references to fruit and vineyards and vines and fruit bearing. Jesus used these agricultural illustrations to demonstrate a particular teaching to the people and His disciples. Over the years I have learned that certain basic principles apply as much to gardening as they do to my daily walk and relationship with Jesus. I think the three distinct elements of sower, soil and seed are critical metaphors in understanding the necessity of getting our hands dirty in the soil and sharing the gospel with the world. In the bigger picture of this analogy God is the sower...his word is the seed and I am the soil...which seems both paradoxical and appropriate to me. Any gardener worth their salt knows the importance of not only good quality soil but good preparation of that soil. In another weird analogy...I see rocks as representative of sin. Just as it is difficult to have a productive garden with rocky soil so is it to have a life of purpose and service if filled with sin. Jesus spoke of this when He said,

“Then he told them many things in parables, saying: “A farmer went out to sow his seed. As he was scattering the seed, some fell along the path, and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places, where it did not have much soil. It sprang up quickly, because the soil was shallow. But when the sun came up, the plants were scorched, and they withered because they had no root.”

Jesus was clear as He taught that rocks...or sin... ruins your soil and keeps it from being productive and what you plant there will be in vain as it will not take root. This is what happens to us so many times...we try to do church or play religion and desperately plant in the poor rocky soil of our sin filled lives to no avail and we get frustrated and blame God and the church and give up. The good news is that God never moves and still is ready to sow His seed into us despite our shortcomings as gardeners and perennial lack of green thumbs. It's far too often that people all of us in all Christian faith tend to view the idea of Christian maturity or discipleship as intellectual Christian growth. Sadly, the focus for most of us is more on head knowledge than on life change. It is good to know scripture. It is good to study the Bible. But all that knowledge is worthless if we don't turn it into a life change. God is more concerned about the way we live then how much information we pack into our heads. A telling sign of that life change is how well we tend our gardens...our piece of the world...our lives. Are we working to improve the soil...remove the rocks...pruning the non bearing branches and dead wood? This is an active ever changing task that requires both patience and diligence. It is not enough just to plant the seed and ignore it and hope for the best. We know what happens then...our gardens turn into weed patches overrun with pest. Is this what God desires from us? I really doubt it. He wants to pull the weeds...kill the bugs...remove the rocks...and do everything we are able to have this totally amazingly productive and beautiful garden. Oh yeah...He wants us to get our hands really dirty too....

April 7 2011...

"Love the quick profit, the annual raise,
vacation with pay. Want more
of everything ready-made. Be afraid
to know your neighbors and to die.
And you will have a window in your head.
Not even your future will be a mystery
any more. Your mind will be punched in a card
and shut away in a little drawer.
When they want you to buy something
they will call you. When they want you
to die for profit they will let you know.
So, friends, every day do something
that won’t compute. Love the Lord.
Love the world. Work for nothing.
Take all that you have and be poor.

Love someone who does not deserve it.

Denounce the government and embrace
the flag. Hope to live in that free
republic for which it stands.
Give your approval to all you cannot
understand. Praise ignorance, for what man
has not encountered he has not destroyed.
Ask the questions that have no answers.
Invest in the millenium. Plant sequoias.
Say that your main crop is the forest
that you did not plant,
that you will not live to harvest.
Say that the leaves are harvested
when they have rotted into the mold.
Call that profit. Prophesy such returns.
Put your faith in the two inches of humus
that will build under the trees
every thousand years.

Listen to carrion — put your ear
close, and hear the faint chattering
of the songs that are to come.
Expect the end of the world. Laugh.
Laughter is immeasurable. Be joyful
though you have considered all the facts.
So long as women do not go cheap
for power, please women more than men.
Ask yourself: Will this satisfy
a woman satisfied to bear a child?
Will this disturb the sleep
of a woman near to giving birth?
Go with your love to the fields.
Lie down in the shade. Rest your head
in her lap. Swear allegiance
to what is nighest your thoughts.

As soon as the generals and the politicos
can predict the motions of your mind,
lose it. Leave it as a sign
to mark the false trail, the way
you didn’t go.
Be like the fox
who makes more tracks than necessary,
some in the wrong direction.

Practice resurrection."

— Wendell Berry

ordinary people...extraordinary things...

I believe that there is a powerful redemption and restoration that comes from doing extremely difficult physical challenges. I have never been much of a physical challenge guy at any time in my life...especially at what many consider to be mid-life. I certainly wasn't the guy seeking to push the envelope of what was physically impossible and then seek the next bigger and better challenge. No sir...not me. I was not a jock in high school and played very little sports and never really developed a taste for either participating or watching. I realize making that true confession really calls my manliness into question...it's ok...I don't hunt or fish either. So,...for me... doing something physically extreme is about as likely as Lohan is to stay out of jail. I think just the mere thoughts of the most moderately physical things are tiring sometimes. The problem is that I have trouble with my vision...that is seeing what winning looks and feels like. We can so easily fall into routines...ruts...and live our ordinary lives of comfort and predictability never daring to go beyond our self imposed limitations. The shocking reality we often discover is the only limits we are constrained by are the ones we place on ourselves. Those can be so disabling to the point we give up even trying anything new or challenging. We are defeated before we even start. There are several problems with this but primarily it chokes the life out of our faith in God to do amazing and unexpected things in our lives. There is a certain satisfaction that comes when we can say...I did what I thought was impossible. It's a rush...it's exciting. There is an ever greater feeling that comes when we say...and understand...it only happened because of God working through me and empowering me in a often times crazy way. As I have said many times before, God likes to take the most impossible situation and use the most ordinary and unlikely person to demonstrate His power to others. I have heard people say...”that's IMPOSSIBLE”...or...”that's CRAZY”. I have discovered many things that I just didn't believe possible...even in my wildest imagination...became quite possible and was shocking to myself and others. I have discovered that the twin elements of these amazing stories of success and redemption are... courage and faith. I have analyzed these two concepts for endless hours. To step out in courage...even believing you might fail...requires a significant amount of faith. It sometimes seems like faith in everyday things is so ordinary and unspoken. However, when it come to bear in a personal way and that faith is challenged and we feel the weakness of it it is all so differently then. Jesus worked on this issue a lot with both His disciples and those He met during His ministry. It is like how the disciples reacted when Jesus walked on the water...they were astonished at the sheer impossibility...in their minds...of what had been done. Their true faith came in that moment and with that miracle. Many times we look at a situation or opportunity and immediately see the difficulty...the impossibility...the obstacles that stand in the way. We don't allow our faith to even enter into the situation. We find reason to not even try to summon up courage as our fear of failure...or looking stupid...or wondering what people will think robs us of perhaps a chance to redeem a part of our life we need to take back. The devil is constantly stealing away our lives one bite at a time and each time we give in to doubt and fear there goes another piece. Is that what you want? To just be slowly chipped away at until there is nothing left? Probably not...Reclaiming an authentic life of significance and purpose is hard because we have to be thoughtful and intentional each step of the way. It requires discipline and vision...two things that are sorely lacking for most of us. It's hard to trust...to believe...to let go...when you have been hurt and disappointed by failures of others and your own. There is a richness and a texture of life that comes when we stare down our fears and anxieties and step off that edge...knowing we will be caught by a loving Savior. That's calming and reassuring and yet so hard for us to grasp how liberating that can be. We are bound and wrapped up in a tangle of fear and insecurities that literally at times can paralyze us into doing nothing...sitting waiting on God...or watching others. This is not what God desires for us. He wants us in the game...whether we are the ace pitcher or not...it doesn't matter. We are called by the very love that has redeemed us to this amazing life with Him. We are called to do the impossible extraordinary thing because in doing so it only does two things...it glorifies Him and allows us to be a powerful witness to others. I have been transformed by this redemption that comes from doing amazing...previously thought impossible...things. Now I'm different. I think this sums it up pretty well. In the book, Risking Faith, Dr. Steve Stephens writes, “I don’t want an ordinary God any more than I want an ordinary faith. Ordinary might make me feel good, but it will never inspire and astound me. Only an extraordinary God can move me beyond complacency in such a way that I cannot help but be changed”

loving the unlovable...

I won't lie...sometimes it's hard for me to love people in the same embracing non-judgmental way that Jesus did. I feel like most of the time I try very hard but sometimes I just fall short. I simply cannot seem to give some the one thing they truly desire from me and I struggle to understand why. Sometimes it is the fault of others as they make it very difficult for me to respond in a positive and loving way because of their behavior. Now I have to admit, I frequently struggle with this one. Let's face it, some people just make it difficult to love them. So how do you love those who appear to be unlovable? Jesus provides us some wise insight in 1 John 5:21 where He says, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” The reality is though...it's mostly me...it's a wall that I put up. Jesus also says in 1 John 3:18 , “Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions.” Just as the timeless cliché says...actions speak louder than words... and that is really true when we are trying to love people like Jesus has demonstrated for us so many times. We like to talk a lot and can sound convincing and appear very loving to others. But sometimes there is a fundamental disconnect between what we say and what we do. Our experiences create judgments and prejudices which creep into our lives in both subtle and blatant ways and affect how we relate to people. Most often that is based on very broad stereotypes we assign to people. We like to label people and put them in places where they are unreachable and unlovable. I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus meant when He said for us to keep away from anything that might take God's place in our hearts. I suppose that would mean something like anger, resentment, hatred, jealousy and bitterness. It also surely must include things like annoyance, irritability, impatience, and frustration which puts us into a state where we are momentarily separating ourselves from “the least of these”...and of course...God. Many times there are emotional associations attached to people we are trying to love and those emotions can exert huge influence over our choice of how we respond to others. There is an investment of emotional energy and we want a payback. Often times we are so selfish and self seeking it is impossible for us to reach out beyond our own needs to connect with another. Perhaps fear of the unknown and loss of control or being controlled by others is a factor. How someone will respond is unpredictable and we try to control that through manipulation and measured responses to those individuals. If you do not leave behind the emotions associated with this person, then you are still letting them take God’s place in your life. And by doing so, they are continuing to control your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions. You can’t “love” someone with your “actions” if your emotions are not in a state of love and peace and completely centered on God. This is the challenge that we all face...to come out of the self absorbed world in which we live and be mindful of the needs of others. It is easy for us to feel overwhelmed with the amount of needs we face every day both in our communities and the world. It can be so overpowering and we can fell so helpless that we are stunned into paralysis feeling totally incapable to make a dent in anything. This is why there is so much talk and advocacy with little action to address pressing needs. Talk is cheap...literally and emotionally...and easy... and keeps God out of the picture. To love others in the way that Jesus has shown requires action and service and it begins with one...me. I have to understand the basic fact that I was once that unreachable and unlovable person and Jesus sought me out and redeemed and restored me with His love. Love is not static...love is a verb. How arrogant of me to be so selfish and filled with pride as to not believe that those I perceive as unlovable and untouchable could just as easy be me. If not for the totally unmerited grace that I constantly receive from Jesus...that would be me. That should be a sobering thought for all of us when we feel that need to withhold love from someone based on how they look, act, think, smell or in any other way they might offend us. Jesus certainly didn't have a problem with any of that...why do we? How will you serve today? How will you reach out in an unexpected way to that someone you find tough to love? Someone is waiting on you...

who am I really?...

         A human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world. -  Dorthy L. Sayers

I have recently landed a new job after a lengthy period of unemployment. These infrequent periods of unemployment are really nothing new to me but this one was a little longer than normal. There are several problems with being unemployed for an extended period .beyond the obvious one of not having an income stream. One of the things I have discovered over the years is that we are very much identified by the work we do and that often times leads to additional dialogue. However, when we are unemployed there is a whole different thing that happens when someone ask..”what do you do?” and you reply that you are “not working but looking”. I love to see the look on peoples faces when you try to explain your unique situation and they just don't get it. I'm used to it ...so it doesn't bother me...but it used to. The one thing I have discovered that has been an important lesson to me is that I am not defined by what I do...but by what I am. In today's community we are assigned a place in society based on what we do and the relative value attached to that thing. When we no longer are doing that thing we wonder where we fit in the world. It is hard to be still and idle for any reason in today's culture. It is unacceptable when we are not perceived as busy or productive. Whether we realize it or accept it we are always being measured and compared in some way or another. When you have complete awareness of your identity, you don’t have to rely on any external descriptors to define who you are. You get to be who you are – a unique being, accepted for your individual qualities and characteristics. With awareness and accep­tance of your internal identity, you are less likely to fall into the comparison trap A lot of what determines our worth and usefulness is our ability and desire to work at something judged by others as good or necessary. Thus...we pride ourselves on our ability to work and be productive and develop an image we project to the world and that becomes our identity. So...it only stands to reason that when that becomes compromised due to illness, unemployment or other reasons we and others perceive that we are less desirable and worthy. You see...we all start out from square one with this unique identity of who we really are and that is given by God. It's the basic ingredient of our makeup...it's in our DNA. Then from that point we add to it in our own ways. Things we think are important like what we wear...where we live...who we know. We call that success and then that often replaces what God says and our identity is now based on that illusion. We work very hard at fooling people into believing we are successful and that our happiness is based on appearances. As our identity is so intricately tied in with success or failure...for many failure is not an option. So we hold back and stay in our comfort zone...our safe place. We become risk adverse because if we fail...and we will sometime...we take a big hit on what we believe our identity to be. For many of us this can be quite unsettling and even progress to a full blown crisis. This is why it is so important to know who we are at the core of our being...the place that cannot be shaken. If not, the crisis will find you again and again, resulting in a fear of failure, fear of abandonment, and fear of never finding your true identity. An example of this would be the proverbial mid-life crisis. You get to that certain age...that certain point in your life and look around and say...”is this all there is?” Surely there's more to life than this one I have been living. I'm gonna change...I'm gonna have a new identity. Yeah...ok...we all know how that goes for guys...new Corvette replaces the Camry...custom cowboy boots replace the tasseled loafers...and a girlfriend your daughters age replaces your wife of twenty five years. Really? This is the identity you desire now...middle aged guy who has lost his marbles...I think the more true question to be wrestled with at this mid point is do I go on living a life of success and all the external trappings that involves or do I seek to live a life of significance. With full recognition of your true internal identity...that identity placed inside of you by God...you are very much less likely to seek something else external or outside of that to make you feel complete. Your identity can be thought of as who you are at your deepest core...your integrity. The process of uncovering and getting to the essence of that core, and the ability to get in touch with who you are is often times very daunting and can be gut wrenching. However it is absolutely the first thing that must be done on the road to authenticity and significance in our daily lives. Without any conscious awareness and understanding of our identity it is impossible to be authentic. How can we hope to be real if we don’t have a clue of what real is? Without even a little knowledge of our values and core beliefs, how can we make decisions or know what we want? Our relationships, career choices, lifestyle, and everything we deem important as an adult are all impacted by our identity. Awareness of our identity allows us to authentically and passionately pursue our path in life. It is never too late to change course once that realization and awareness comes. People change at many different points in their lives...sometimes willingly...sometimes not. If we have no knowledge of what makes our heart sing, what is important to us, or what is our life purpose, how can we form a vision for our future? We can't...and we just drift along until the next crisis comes...and it will. Again, if we don’t know who we are, how can we determine what we want and where we are headed? The actions we take toward our vision must be in alignment with our values, core beliefs and the essence of our identity if we are to be fulfilled and live our life to its highest purpose. That comes from knowing who we are in Christ and absolutely has nothing to do with riding the wave of the next best and latest cool thing...It's easy to fall from those lofty perches...sometimes.