who am I really?...

         A human being must have occupation if he or she is not to become a nuisance to the world. -  Dorthy L. Sayers

I have recently landed a new job after a lengthy period of unemployment. These infrequent periods of unemployment are really nothing new to me but this one was a little longer than normal. There are several problems with being unemployed for an extended period .beyond the obvious one of not having an income stream. One of the things I have discovered over the years is that we are very much identified by the work we do and that often times leads to additional dialogue. However, when we are unemployed there is a whole different thing that happens when someone ask..”what do you do?” and you reply that you are “not working but looking”. I love to see the look on peoples faces when you try to explain your unique situation and they just don't get it. I'm used to it ...so it doesn't bother me...but it used to. The one thing I have discovered that has been an important lesson to me is that I am not defined by what I do...but by what I am. In today's community we are assigned a place in society based on what we do and the relative value attached to that thing. When we no longer are doing that thing we wonder where we fit in the world. It is hard to be still and idle for any reason in today's culture. It is unacceptable when we are not perceived as busy or productive. Whether we realize it or accept it we are always being measured and compared in some way or another. When you have complete awareness of your identity, you don’t have to rely on any external descriptors to define who you are. You get to be who you are – a unique being, accepted for your individual qualities and characteristics. With awareness and accep­tance of your internal identity, you are less likely to fall into the comparison trap A lot of what determines our worth and usefulness is our ability and desire to work at something judged by others as good or necessary. Thus...we pride ourselves on our ability to work and be productive and develop an image we project to the world and that becomes our identity. So...it only stands to reason that when that becomes compromised due to illness, unemployment or other reasons we and others perceive that we are less desirable and worthy. You see...we all start out from square one with this unique identity of who we really are and that is given by God. It's the basic ingredient of our makeup...it's in our DNA. Then from that point we add to it in our own ways. Things we think are important like what we wear...where we live...who we know. We call that success and then that often replaces what God says and our identity is now based on that illusion. We work very hard at fooling people into believing we are successful and that our happiness is based on appearances. As our identity is so intricately tied in with success or failure...for many failure is not an option. So we hold back and stay in our comfort zone...our safe place. We become risk adverse because if we fail...and we will sometime...we take a big hit on what we believe our identity to be. For many of us this can be quite unsettling and even progress to a full blown crisis. This is why it is so important to know who we are at the core of our being...the place that cannot be shaken. If not, the crisis will find you again and again, resulting in a fear of failure, fear of abandonment, and fear of never finding your true identity. An example of this would be the proverbial mid-life crisis. You get to that certain age...that certain point in your life and look around and say...”is this all there is?” Surely there's more to life than this one I have been living. I'm gonna change...I'm gonna have a new identity. Yeah...ok...we all know how that goes for guys...new Corvette replaces the Camry...custom cowboy boots replace the tasseled loafers...and a girlfriend your daughters age replaces your wife of twenty five years. Really? This is the identity you desire now...middle aged guy who has lost his marbles...I think the more true question to be wrestled with at this mid point is do I go on living a life of success and all the external trappings that involves or do I seek to live a life of significance. With full recognition of your true internal identity...that identity placed inside of you by God...you are very much less likely to seek something else external or outside of that to make you feel complete. Your identity can be thought of as who you are at your deepest core...your integrity. The process of uncovering and getting to the essence of that core, and the ability to get in touch with who you are is often times very daunting and can be gut wrenching. However it is absolutely the first thing that must be done on the road to authenticity and significance in our daily lives. Without any conscious awareness and understanding of our identity it is impossible to be authentic. How can we hope to be real if we don’t have a clue of what real is? Without even a little knowledge of our values and core beliefs, how can we make decisions or know what we want? Our relationships, career choices, lifestyle, and everything we deem important as an adult are all impacted by our identity. Awareness of our identity allows us to authentically and passionately pursue our path in life. It is never too late to change course once that realization and awareness comes. People change at many different points in their lives...sometimes willingly...sometimes not. If we have no knowledge of what makes our heart sing, what is important to us, or what is our life purpose, how can we form a vision for our future? We can't...and we just drift along until the next crisis comes...and it will. Again, if we don’t know who we are, how can we determine what we want and where we are headed? The actions we take toward our vision must be in alignment with our values, core beliefs and the essence of our identity if we are to be fulfilled and live our life to its highest purpose. That comes from knowing who we are in Christ and absolutely has nothing to do with riding the wave of the next best and latest cool thing...It's easy to fall from those lofty perches...sometimes.