loving the unlovable...

I won't lie...sometimes it's hard for me to love people in the same embracing non-judgmental way that Jesus did. I feel like most of the time I try very hard but sometimes I just fall short. I simply cannot seem to give some the one thing they truly desire from me and I struggle to understand why. Sometimes it is the fault of others as they make it very difficult for me to respond in a positive and loving way because of their behavior. Now I have to admit, I frequently struggle with this one. Let's face it, some people just make it difficult to love them. So how do you love those who appear to be unlovable? Jesus provides us some wise insight in 1 John 5:21 where He says, “Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God’s place in your hearts.” The reality is though...it's mostly me...it's a wall that I put up. Jesus also says in 1 John 3:18 , “Little children, let us stop just saying we love people; let us really love them, and show it by our actions.” Just as the timeless cliché says...actions speak louder than words... and that is really true when we are trying to love people like Jesus has demonstrated for us so many times. We like to talk a lot and can sound convincing and appear very loving to others. But sometimes there is a fundamental disconnect between what we say and what we do. Our experiences create judgments and prejudices which creep into our lives in both subtle and blatant ways and affect how we relate to people. Most often that is based on very broad stereotypes we assign to people. We like to label people and put them in places where they are unreachable and unlovable. I'm pretty sure that's what Jesus meant when He said for us to keep away from anything that might take God's place in our hearts. I suppose that would mean something like anger, resentment, hatred, jealousy and bitterness. It also surely must include things like annoyance, irritability, impatience, and frustration which puts us into a state where we are momentarily separating ourselves from “the least of these”...and of course...God. Many times there are emotional associations attached to people we are trying to love and those emotions can exert huge influence over our choice of how we respond to others. There is an investment of emotional energy and we want a payback. Often times we are so selfish and self seeking it is impossible for us to reach out beyond our own needs to connect with another. Perhaps fear of the unknown and loss of control or being controlled by others is a factor. How someone will respond is unpredictable and we try to control that through manipulation and measured responses to those individuals. If you do not leave behind the emotions associated with this person, then you are still letting them take God’s place in your life. And by doing so, they are continuing to control your thoughts, words, feelings, and actions. You can’t “love” someone with your “actions” if your emotions are not in a state of love and peace and completely centered on God. This is the challenge that we all face...to come out of the self absorbed world in which we live and be mindful of the needs of others. It is easy for us to feel overwhelmed with the amount of needs we face every day both in our communities and the world. It can be so overpowering and we can fell so helpless that we are stunned into paralysis feeling totally incapable to make a dent in anything. This is why there is so much talk and advocacy with little action to address pressing needs. Talk is cheap...literally and emotionally...and easy... and keeps God out of the picture. To love others in the way that Jesus has shown requires action and service and it begins with one...me. I have to understand the basic fact that I was once that unreachable and unlovable person and Jesus sought me out and redeemed and restored me with His love. Love is not static...love is a verb. How arrogant of me to be so selfish and filled with pride as to not believe that those I perceive as unlovable and untouchable could just as easy be me. If not for the totally unmerited grace that I constantly receive from Jesus...that would be me. That should be a sobering thought for all of us when we feel that need to withhold love from someone based on how they look, act, think, smell or in any other way they might offend us. Jesus certainly didn't have a problem with any of that...why do we? How will you serve today? How will you reach out in an unexpected way to that someone you find tough to love? Someone is waiting on you...